so very home to us, and (in the mercantile language) are so constantly" in the course of arrival," that we require no preparation, as on most former occasions.

Tes. Breakfast, and pass the day with me tomorrow :-if we begin then, we shall have some chance of coming to a conclusion by bedtime.

Sen. I will attend you; and, short as the notice is, I'll engage that the list will be lengthened, on both sides, by many a Groan that will escape us in the interval.

Tes. Ten o'clock precisely, mind-or I sit down without you.

N

DIALOGUE THE TENTH.

MISERIES DOMESTIC: INCLUDING THE DRESSING

ROOM, AND BEDCHAMber.

TESTY, SENIOR AND JUNIOR.-SENSITIVE.

(TESTY'S HOUSE.)

.........

Testy.

SIT down, Sensitive; sit down-I wish you may be able to make out any thing like a meal; we should have had a rare opportunity for remarks, here, if we had not lately taken such good care of the breakfast table in that way. As it is, make yourself as little of a wretch as you can.-You would have had neither tea nor sugar, I can tell you, if I had not kicked open the tea chest, a minute before you came in; for Mrs. Testy, as usual with her when she gads, has gadded off with every key in the house.-Come, begin, begin!-I have ordered as few things as possible for your breakfast, that you may have a negative chance of comfort, at least. I have taken care that there should be no coffee for you ;-for there is not a jade, or a scoundrel in my kitchen, that I could ever yet get to wait for the third bubble;-nor any cocoa, neither for I would not poison you with a thousand

bubbles, which they do wait for ;-and as for cold meat, and such things, I should be sorry to give my friend the orts of the cat, who they always contrive should be first served, by carefully leaving open the pantry door :-I'll order up some butter, if you desire it-you'll only excuse me from tasting it when it comes, that's all!

Sen. You are very attentive indeed, my good sir; —and I will make the best of what remains, after you have so kindly impoverished the table for my benefit.

Tes. Well, but-there is no time to be lost, you know--we have only one whole day before us, into which we have to cram the crosses of our whole domestic lives past ;-besides, I am so fearful of forgetting a groan extorted from me two hours ago, by one of my female caterpillars," (as a friend of mine ought to be worshipped for having nicknamed servants,) that I must have it out at once:

GROAN 1. (T.)

Getting up early in a cold gloomy morning, (quite enough already, you'll say; but that's not half of it)-Getting up early in a cold gloomy morning, I say-and on running down into the breakfast room for warmth and comfort, finding chairs, tables, shovel, poker, tongs and fender, huddled into the middle of the room-dust flying in all directions-carpet tossed backwards-floor newly washed-windows wide open-beeswax, brush, and rubber in one corner-brooms, mops, and pails in another-and a dingy drab on her knees before an empty grate,

There's a set of jewels for our cabinet of "Miser

ies!"-all'of the first water, and in the rightest order for our use!

Sen. I had myself intended to open with another of the same species-but you have struck me dumb.

Tes. Pho, pho!-let's have it; when a diamond does not come in the way, we must put up with a pearl.

Sen. Well, then-if you won't despise me,

2. (S.)

Having to pass the maid as she is scowering the stairs;-to which I intended to add-seeing, hearing, or guessing, any thing at all of the matter, when washing and drying are going on in the house or, what is worse still, having to duck, and flap, your way through lines, or rather lanes, of clammy clothes, just hung out to dry.

On coming into the room, frost bitten-attempting to stir a very compact fire with a red hot poker, which, from being worn to a thread towards the bottom, bends double at the slightest touch, without discomposing a coal.

Sen. Yes: or, on the other the hand, 4. (S.)

Raising them too much, when the grate is overcharged; and so, notwithstanding all your caution, disposing the live coals over the carpet, aud among the petticoats of the ladies.

5. (S.)

Feeling your arm and elbow cold-and, on looking farther into the matter, perceiving that you have long been leaning in slop, which has dabbled you to the skin.

6. (T.)

Squatting plump on an unsuspected cat in your chair.

7. (T.)

At going to bed-after having toiled, scorched, and melted, yourself, in raking out a large and obstinate fire, which, at last, you seem to have effected-seeing it, as you turn round at the door, burning and roaring up far more fiercely than ever.

Sen. Aye, and this, two fires instead of one.

8.. (T.)

1

In attempting to throw up cinders, oversetting and scattering them far and wide, by dashing the edge of the shovel, as if with a violent determination, against the upper bar of the grate.

9. (T.)

Fumbling in vain at a rusty refractory door lock, of which the hasp flies backward, aud there sticks-so that you are at last obliged to leave the door flapping and whining on its unoiled hinge, and fanning you into an ague-your own fury furnishing the fever.

10. (T.)

Sitting for hours before a smokey chimney, like a Hottentot in a craal ;-then, just as your sufferings seem at last, to be at an end-puff, puff!-whiff, whiff !—again, far more furiously than ever.

11. (T.)

Waking, stiff and frozen, from a long sleep in your chair, by the fireside; then crouching closer and closer over the miserable embers, for want of courage to go up to bed; and so, keeping in the cold to be warm!—when you go at last, your candle stinks out in the passage, and you are left to grope your way, blundering, and breaking your shins at every step, against the banisters;-every stair, too, creaking and groaning under your weight, though you tread as tenderly as possible, for fear of waking the house, consisting chiefly of invalids, whom you feel that you are rousing, one after another, from their dozes, as you pass their several doors.