There! I hope my performance answers to my promises. And now I'll give you a concluding Groan, compared with which all the rest are like the sighs of a sleeping baby :-and what is more, it shall be uttered in a single word ;

SERVANTS!

128. (T.)

Sen. There came a thunderbolt, indeed !—that word is, in itself, a volume-it is the very prince of sweeping clauses. Swift, indeed, has effectually forestalled us in this region of plagues, and often makes me wish that he had been as merciful as he is stout; for it costs me a severe fit of the bile, whenever I open that cruelly elaborate catalogue of abominations, entitled "Directions to Servants :"-more docile Disciples never rewarded the assiduity of a Teacher !— And yet it does not very well become me to complain of him, on this occasion:-for, when I have been applied to for a character, as it is termed, by one of these domestic Scourges, I have more than once referred the enquirer, to the proper chapter of the Dean's directions, assuring the Lady, or Gentleman, that they were, in every instance, most punctually attended to by the present applicant, while he continued in my employment.

Tes. No bad method, I confess though not quite so short as mine.

Sen. What may that be, my good Mr. Testy? Tes. Kicking the rascal headlong down stairs on the spot, the moment he asks me for a character.

Sen. Compendious, certainly-and, as it should seem, not unlikely to disembarrass you, in a considerable degree, from future applications of that nature.

Tes. Yes, yes it answers there, too :-but enough of the "catterpillars," which torment us more than any other reptiles, because we are such fools that we won't go on without 'em. Well, Sensitive, I begin to hope we have now pretty well exhausted" Pandora's box," as you call it, and that we may now sit down upon our old stock of Miseries, without going out upon the hunt after new ones.

Sen. Nay, there are multitudes of Miseries beside those which are to be sought abroad. Turn your eyes, for instance, upon your own person, and tell me whether every joint, limb, and feature, is not a seperate rendezvous for an innumerable legion of annoyances, which though they do not suddenly destroy you, yet fail not in the end to wear you out by a harassing system of petty warfare, of irritating skirmishes, that allow you neither the recruit of rest, nor the glory of a battle.

Tes. Aye, aye-I see plainly whereabout you are ; "Miseries personal, or of the Body," as I take it, would be a fit title for the enemies you mean. If I can't conquer them, you shall see, however, that I ean count them no man better. When shall we meet upon it?

Sen. As soon as my nerves shall be strengthened, and your blood cooled, after this longest and hardest of all our days of difficulty.

Tes. Well, then, as the Tough should wait upon the Tender, I will abide the liesure of your worship's nerves; but, as to myself, it would be a long pause, indeed, as things go with me, if we should lie by, till I get into cold blood!-And so, only let me know when you are man enough for another meeting, and you'll find me at your call.

DIALOGUE THE ELEVENTH.

MISERIES PERSONAL, OR OF THE BODY.

TESTY, SENIOR AND JUNIOR.-SENSITIVE.

[Testy is muffled up about the face,with his handkerchief

A villanous cold in the head; blowing your nose lustily and frequently, till you are a walking nuisance to all around you-but without any fruits,except a sharp twinging sensation in the nostrils, as the passages which you have forced open close up again with a shrill, thin, whining whistle ;-not to mention the necessity of disgusting yourself and friends by pronouneing M like B, and N like D, till you are well.

Sen. Bad enough-but I have a worse, just now coming upon me :

2. (S.)

Being on the bri.......on the bri.......on the bri.......on the br........ (sneezes).......ink of a sneeze for a quarter of an hour together; and yet, with all your gasping, and sobbing, never able to compass it.

3. (S.)

After over fatigue, or watching-those self invited starts, jerks, or twitches, that fly about the limbs and body, and come on with an indescribable kind of tingling, teazing, gnawing restlessness; more especially towards bed time.

Mrs. Tes. Yes, yes, the fidgets-deuce take 'embut I did not know that men knew any thing of the

matter.

Sen. Not many of us, Madam, I dare say; but there are very few even among your Miseries, of which I have not at least a smattering knowledge.

4. (S.)

Bending back the finger nail-or even thinking of it:

(Here a violent shriek from Mrs. Testy.) ·

Tes. What now, Mrs. Testy?

Mrs. Tes. What?—why a much worse thing than Mr. Sensitive has just mentioned-what think you of 5. (Mrs. T.)

Receiving the first hint that your thimble has a hole worn through it, from the needle, as it runs, head and shoulders, under the nail.

6. (T.)

The sensation, from the hip downwards, when your foot is fast asleep, and before the sharp shooting, which you have next to expect, has yet come on.

7. (T.)

Dreaming that you have a locked jaw, and seeming to wrench open your own head, in your convulsive efforts to speak or gape. 8. (T.)

A dozen or two of hiccoughs in the same breath.

9. (S.)

In your sick chamber-receiving a large parcel, which you