Tes. Nay, Commerce is the best game upon the cards; for you may get yourself released, whenever you please. What say you to the case of a wretch, who detests cards, and whist above all, at which he plays vilely ;-under these circumstances, I say, what think you of

25. (T.)

Being compelled, by the want of a substitute, to sit down again, as you are stealing away, to a fourth or fifth rubber, with an Argus-in the shape of à captious, eager, skilful, elderly spinster-for your new partner.

26. (S.)

In shuffling the cards, (your party all strangers) squashing them together, breaking their edges, and showering them in all directions, so as to make you long for a trap door to open under your feet.

27. (T.)

A pack of cards which stick so abominably in dealing, that you unavoidably throw out three or four at once, and so loose your time, your patience, and—the deal,

Sen. Music?

28. ́(S.)

Being accompanied by a player or singer, who is always at least a bar behind, or before you.

29. (S.)

While accompanying another on the flute-being distanced, in a quick passage, by having to turn over in the middle of a bar.

Ned. Tes.

"And panting time toil'd after him in vain."

30. (S.)

Johns.

Attempting, by desire, to play on the piano-forte, while

your fingers are all chained up by the frost.

31. (T.)

In fiddling-a greasy bow:-or, a string (the last you have of the number) snapping in the middle of a passage which you were just discovering the proper method of fingering.

Sen. No, Sir, music will never do :-Drawing is, at least, a quieter enemy; but that it is an enemy, we shall easily make appear.

Tes. Not so fast, Sir; I have another musical Misery in store.

32. (T.)

After waiting an hour for a friend's cremona, for which you had sent your servant-seeing it at length brought in by him -in fragments.

Ned Tes. "Heu, prisca fides !"

Sen. Nay, young gentleman, if you are to quote so, you may as well throw in "Nusquam tuta fides ;" as you, Sir, (to old Testy,) ought to have remembered in proper time.

33. (S.)

Hitching your knife in the gritty flaws of a black lead pencil, so as to spoil its edge, without gaining your point :-repeatedly breaking said point in the operation of cutting it; or when you seem to have succeeded, finding that your pencil only scratches the paper on which you mean to draw.

3.4. (S.)

After having nearly completed a drawing of a Head, on which you have long been working very laboriously—leaying the room for a moment, and finding, on your return, that a sudden puff of wind, as you opened the door, has conveyed it into the fire, which is devouring the last corner of the paper..

Ned Tes.

"Quis desiderio sit pudor aut modus

"Tam cari capitis?"

35. (T.)

Hor.

In fitting a drawing to its frame, becoming so tired of your own timidity in paring the paper too little, as to spoil all by one rash sliver.

36. (S.)

Rubbing Indian ink, or cake colours, in a very smooth saucer. (Or, what is far worse than this-nay is, perhaps, the very mightiest of all the mighty Miseries we are now recording, or shall ever record-)

37. (S.)

As you draw- to be maddened, through your whole work, with inveterate greasiness in your pencils, colours, or paper, (you cannot possibly discover which ;) so that what you have taken up with your brush keeps coyly flying from the spot to which you would apply it.

Ned Tes.

nec color

Certa sede manet."

Hor.

Tes. So much for the Fine Arts !-one Misery more, and I have done, for the present.

38. (T.)

Exhausting your faculties, for a whole evening together, in vain endeavours to guess at a riddle, conundrum, &c. though you are assured, all the time, that it is as easy as the a, b, c.

Tes. For my own part the confounded riddle, with which I have just wound up my accounts, has considerably shortened my search after other torments; for ever since it was proposed to me (a full month ago,) I have lost both my rest and my appetite, and neg

40

lected almost every other concern, in trying to find it out-all to no purpose.

Sen. Nay, let it pass;-you and I have neither time nor tranquility for studying riddles :-besides, Sir, life itself according to our views of it, is one great enigma; and, like the other famous enigma of old, is guarded by-not one, but a thousand Sphinxes, in the shape of "Miseries," which like their predecessor, keep tearing us to pieces, all the time that we are labouring in vain for the solution.-Be quiet, then, for a moment, while I shape out other employment for us.It will not be denied, I trust, that we have now given the cause of the Country, a fair hearing;-but the Town, remember, will be thought to have at least an equal right to be put upon its trial, and the rather, as men, having made it themselves, will be naturally interested by the vanity of workmen, in its defence. Our precious affairs among the fields and trees are pretty well settled; and as our return to London will take place nearly at the same time, we can meet at a coffee house, and by favour of the delightful privacy of a box, cut off by a silk curtain from twenty listeners, close at our backs, we may discuss in comfort, you know.

Tes. O, yes! I understand you-a dry rot take the house, and all that belongs to it!-there, however, we must meet, I suppose, or we should not think ourselves in London; and so I will attend your summons;-if, indeed, I should retain my senses, by the time I shall have employed them in collecting

matter enough to equip me for the conference.-In the mean time, I must go back to the harness.

Sen. The harness!-how?

Tes. How! why to have another pull at the rascally riddle. Your servant. Holla! Sensitive !— Another country comfort, which how I came to forget, I cannot very well say; as I enjoyed it no longer ago than last night:

39. (T.)

Going to see a party of strolling players, on the strength of an encouraging report that they are execrable; but finding them so intolerably tolerable, that even the most heart breaking scenes of their tragedy scarcely afford you one hearty laugh.