EXTEMPORE ON A PIPE OF TOBACCO.

THRO' worthless tube of brittle clay,
Will I some serious thoughts convey;
My native frailty here I trace,
A perfect type of human race :
Exotic is the noisome plant;
Exotic all, for which I pant;
With sick'ning fumes the air I choak
What's worldly grandeur but a smoak !
The quick'ning whiffs declare the strife
Of those who gasp for parting life;
The heap of dust that's left behind,
Displays the fate of all mankind.

My dear, you look

"Like any Partridge plump."

Then with a plate

Upon his pate,

She gave him such a thump!

John felt his head,

And to Cook said,

"I calls that are a shame!"
""Tis cause," said she,
"As how of me,
"You're always making Game !"

ON THE OCEAN.

How beautiful to hear the rippling wave,
With gentle murmur break upon the shore ;

How sweet it is our weary limbs to lave,

'Mid ocean's waters, and the depths explore; When adverse winds and billows are asleep, And calm serenity reigns o'er the deep.

But then how awfully sublime to view

The sea when adverse winds and billows rise, To hear, amid the storm, some hapless crew Imploring help from heaven, with piteous cries, As o'er the mountain surges they are tost,

Till hearing them no more you guess, too true, they're lost.

THE KISS.

"A kiss you ask," Amanthis cried,
"Your wish I can't fulfil`;
Give, do I none, but you may take
As many as you will."

THE CARD PLAYER AND GARDENER.

On a Lady far advanced in years, who was a great curd-player, having married her gardener.

Trumps ever ruled the charming maid,

Sure all the world must pardon her,

The destinies turned up a spade,

She married John the Gardener.

THE DANDY.

Addressed to a young Lady.

A Dandy's a thing without meaning or worth,
Unlike any creature that crawls upon earth;

A fungus unknown to philosopher's eye,
It seems to exist, but we cannot tell why:
Of no species a part, neither fish, flesh, nor fowl,
And shunn'd by mankind, as birds shun the owl.
A thing, which to use no mortal can render,
By tailors made up, without any gender,

Of belts and of bandages, buckram and tape,
And in all points, but sense, like an ass or an ape;
And yet such poor nothings, with apes to compare,
Is an act of injustice to brutes, I declare,
For apes have reflection, and useful the ass,
But a Dandy can only reflect in his glass.

Then approach not these insects, dear Mary, I pray, For if once you embrace them, they'll faint quite away.

LOVE AFTER DEATH.

"I love you more than life," cries Pat,
"Even death can't change my heart's com-
mand;"

Said Nora, laughing, "Prove but that,
No longer I'll refuse my hand."

DISTICH ON TWO DEANS OF ELY.

The tenants of the Dean and Chapter of Ely paid, and still pay, a sum of money, to every new dean, under the name of recognition money. The following distich was made by one of the Fen Men upon the death of a very fat dean, who held the deanery but a very short time, and was succeeded by a very lean one.

The devil took our dean, and pick'd his bones clean,

Then put him on a beard, and sent him us again,

A NEW JURY.

The following lines were hunded to a beautiful young lady who was attending the trials at the Warwick Assizes.

Whilst petty offences and felonies smart,

Is there no jurisdiction for stealing one's heart ?
You, fair one, will smile, and cry,

you!"

"Laws I defy

Assured that no peers can be summon'd to try you : But think not that paltry defence will secure ye, For the Muses and Graces will just make a jury.

THE SICK VICAR.

A Vicar, long ill, who had treasured up wealth, Told his Curate each Sunday to pray for his health : Which oft having done, a parishioner said,

That the Curate ought rather to wish he were dead. "For my truth," says the Curate, "let credit be given,

I ne'er pray'd for his death,-but I have for his living."

SINGULAR DISTINCTION.

At a public school, by chance there were two lads
Of the same name, but boasting diff'rent dads.
One's father kept a tavern, fam'd for cheer,
The other's was 'yclep'd an auctioneer :

Mistakes to end, their school-fellows so knowing,
Call'd the one, quaintly, coming, t'other going.

Р

A DRUNKARD'S SAVING CLAUSE.

Dick, often drunk, when cross sick gravely swore, That while he breathed, he never would drink more;

Dick daily tipsy grows, nor perjured thinks Himself, but says, he breathes not whilst he drinks.

THE LANDLORD AND TENANT.

Quoth Tom, to his tenant, come pay me my rent,
For I'm quite aground, and my money all spent.
Indeed, replied he, as he heavily sigh'd,
Just please to wait till the rise of the tide.

HONOURABLE SERVICE,

If any one has served thee, tell the deed to many; Hast thou served many, tell it not to any.

Opitz.

ON LIBERTY.

Better to sit in Freedom's hall,

With cold damp floor and mouldering wall, Than to bend the neck, and to bow the knee,

In the proudest palace of slavery.

ON LIFE

The world is but an opera show,
We come, look round, and then we go.

Olearius.

C. Gryphus.