Whether gentlemen, scribblers, or poets in jail,
Your impertinent curses shall never prevail;
I'll take neither sage, dock, valerian nor honey,
Do you take the physic, and I'll take the money.'

WOMAN'S LOVE..

Alas, the love of Woman! it is known
To be a lovely and a fearful thing;
For all of theirs upon that die is thrown,
And if 'tis lost, life hath no more to bring
To them, but mockeries of the past alone,

And their revenge is as the tiger's spring,
Deadly, and quick, and crushing; yet, as real
Torture is their's ;- what they inflict they feel.

--

Lord Byron.

THE OXFORD SCHOLARS.

Two Oxford Scholars (as 'tis said)
Once in a room each took a bed ; ·
The one a spendthrift, poor, and sad,
Nor in his purse a sixpence had,
(The usual custom of a rake,)

Cried, "Jack, my friend, art thou awake?
And, as my motive must be known,

I want to borrow half-a-crown!"

"O!" cried his friend, " as 'tis to borrow,

'I'm fast asleep-pray call again to-morrow."

ON A GRECIAN BEAUTY.

Translated from the Greek.

E. C.

Thy eyes declare the imperial wife of Jove
Thy breasts disclose the Cyprian queen of love :
Minerva's fingers thy fair hand displays,
And Thetis' limbs each graceful step betrays.

Blest man! whose eye on thy bright form has hung,
Thrice blest! who hears the music of thy tongue :
As monarchs, happy! who thy lips has prest;
But who embraces as the gods are blest!

PATRONAGE OF VICE.

Vice is undone if she forgets her birth,
And stoops from angels to the dregs of earth ;
Let greatness own her, and she's mean no more,
For 'tis her fall degrades her to a

Her birth, her beauty, crowds and courts confess
Chaste patrons praise her and grave bishops bless;
In golden chains, the willing world she draws,
And her's the gospel is, and her's the laws.
See thronging millions to her pagod run,
And offer country, parent, wife, and son!
Hear her black trumpet thro' the land proclaim
That not to be corrupted is the shame,

In soldier, churchman, patriot, man in power;
'Tis avarice all-ambition is no more.
See all our fools aspiring to be knaves;
See all our nobles begging to be slaves !
All, all look up with reverential awe

To crimes that 'scape the hangman and the law.

;

ON PRESENTING A DEAD ROSE TO A LADY.

"O Lady! view this wither'd, faded flow'r,
And mark the changes of a single hour!
How sweet its colour, and how fragrant too
Its odours were, in all resembling you;
O let it touch you, may you by it see,

Though blooming now, what beauty soon may be."

POETICAL PRESCRIPTION.

A gentleman having called on a friend, with whom he found two physicians, at his departure left the following lines scribbled on the back of a letter, on the dressing table:

By one physician might your work be done,
But two are like a double-barrell'd gun;
From one discharge sometimes a bird has flown,
But second barrel always brings it down.

THE RAPE OF THE LOCK.

"I have stolen a lock of your beautiful hair, "The delight almost makes me run crazy," "Had I known," straight replied my beneficent fair, "The possession of one would bring raptures so

rare,

"I'd have given you up the whole jazey."

ON A LADY,

Who teazed a Poet to compare her to the Sun.

What means the woman by her pother,
That I should like her to the sun;
The one is common, like the other,-
No farther does the likeness run.

TYPOGRAPHICAL WIT.

"Ho! Tommy," bawls Type to a brother in trade, "The ministry are to be chang'd it is said." "That's good," replied Tom, "but it better would

be

"With a trifling erratum."-"What?"-"Dele the C."

JAMES PYE, THE LATE POET LAUREAT.

Our Poet Laureat lived so long,

He 'gan to dream he ne'er should die ;
Till deaf to all his pow'rs of song,
Death put a finger in the Pye.

YOU AND I.

Pray, is it owing to the weather
That U and I can't dine together?
Why no-the reason is, d'ye see,
U cannot come till after T. (Tea),

ON PERCEIVING A FELON GIBBETED NEAR THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT.

Alas, how unequal does fortune distribute !—
The poor thief that robs, seldom misses a gibbet ;
Whilst those who dare venture to strike a bold stroke,
Find robbing and hanging are all a mere joke ;
So strangely does fortune their destinies alter,
To some she gives ribbons, to others a halter!

NEW TAXES.

During the late "heaven-born minister's" administration, the following epigram appeared on this subject :

Says Billy*, quite vexed, "what can we tax next, "I wish some good fellow would show ;"

Why hark, (replied one,) 'twill bring in a round

sum,

"Tax each curse that is vented on you."

* Pitt the younger.

POETICAL BARBERS.

Partridge, in Tom Jones, was a poet as well as a barber; that some of the same trade in Somersetshire have a similar gift, is proved by the following inscriptions on signs, which were faithfully copied in that county:

Poor bumpkin's skin I torture,

When o'er with soap suds lav'd;
And tho' I shave by the quarter,
They're not a quarter shav’d.
2

Come from what quarter you will, you of me must have heard,

I draw out teeth, and cut off the beard:

Besides this, I teach school, and, if wanted, I bleeds, And by all this a wife and six children I feeds.

At a wig-makers.

If Absalom had'nt worn his own hair,

He'd never have been found hanging there.

Another.

Performed by mc, T. K.

You that chuse to be shaved for a penny, come in; Your beards I will mow, and give one glass of gin.

ON A PHYSICIAN'S SKILL.

A wond'rous failing, doctor, to be sure—
You've kill'd the patient you profess'd to cure.
Quoth he, "My skill has not been fairly tried,
Before the cure could work, the patient died."