ON SEEING A YOUNG LADY WRITING VERSES WITH A HOLE IN HER STOCKING. To see a lady of such grace, With so much sense, and such a face, So slatterly, is shocking! Oh! if you would with Venus vie, And learn to mend your stocking. THE SIGNS DISCONTENTED. By Lord Dreghorn. The signs enquired why Jove had not, Bluntly the Ram set forth, that he Often had cast a sheep's eye at her; Had often made his teeth to water. The Bull wou'd have the god to know, In faith he would Pasiphæ her. Poor Virgo, how to please them all, To Sagittarius said, I shall Have more than two strings to my bow. Nay, if to them I should prove kind, Or take a Cancer to my breast? SIR ISAAC NEWTON, BEAU NASH, AND MR. Pope. On seeing a whole length picture of Nash between the busts of Sir Isaac Neuton and Mr. Pope in the rooms at Bath. Immortal Newton never spoke More truth than here you'll find; The picture placed the busts between, SIMPLICITY EXEMPLIFIED. When Dr. Percy first published his collection of Ancient English Ballads, he was lavish in commendation of their beautiful simplicity and poetic merit. This provoked Dr. Johnson to observe one evening, at Miss Reynold's tea-table, that what they called nature was a poor substitute for the graces of poetry, and that he could rhyme as well in common conversation. For instance," said he, "what can be more natural than these lines? As with my hat upon my head "Or to render such poetry subservient to my own immediate use, With cream and sugar sweetened well, Nor fear that I, my gentle maid, Yet hear, alas! this mournful truth, A NEW SUN-DIAL. Let Dick some summer's day expose Would make an excellent sun-dial. USUAL FATE OF LAW-SUITS. Önce (says an author, where, I need not say) Dame Justice, weighing long the doubtful right, Takes, opens, swallows it before their sight. The cause of strife removed so rarely well, "There, take (says Justice) take ye, each a shell. We thrive at Westminster, on fools like you : 'Twas a fat oyster-Live in peace—Adieu !" OXFORD LAW-SCHOOL. On part of the University Church being turned into a Law school. Yes, yes, you may rail at the Pope as you please. But trust me, that miracles never will cease; See here an event which no mortal suspected, See law and divinity closely connected; To prove the old proverb, which long had seem'd odd, That the nearest the church are the farthest from God. TO A BRIEFLESS BARRISTER. If to reward them for their various evil, THE PHYSICIAN AND PATIENT. The following impromptu was written on hearing that a reverend gentleman died while his physician was writing a prescription for him. "How could'st thou thus so hasty be, O death? "And why be so precipitate with me; Why not some moments longer spare my breath, "And let thy friend, the doctor, get his fee." K k SUMMER FRIENDS. Gulloso, when I gave a treat, Who calls such friends mere birds of summer; To note them as mere Swallow friends. MATRIMONIAL CONCORD. By Ben Johnson. Who says that Giles and Joan at discord be? But that his Joan doth too. And Giles would never, No more would Joan he should. Giles riseth early, If now, with man and wife, to will and nill |