Swimming, wiping, glowing, stripping,
O the bliss, the pain of dipping!
Cease, my coward soul, to stop me,
Let me under water pop me.
Chilly wind-gusts seem to say,
Dress you, 'tis the shortest way.
What is this absorbs me quite,
Stuns my hearing, shuts my sight,
Stomach-qualming, breath-depriving?
I have triumph'd; it was diving:
'Tis done; the water disappears,
'Tis running out of both my ears,
And that's a lucky thing.
Reach, reach the cloth: I tingle, glow!
O water, where's thy victory now?
O cold, where is thy sting?
STAT SUA CUIQUE DIES.
April the first stands mark'd by customs' rules,
A day for being, and for making fools:
But pray what custom, or what rule supplies,
A day for making, or for being wise.
PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE.
Being a reply to an aged suitor who proposed marriage to a lady.
Why thus insist on my compliance,
Yet still compel me to refuse?
For tho' I shrink from your alliance,
Perhaps a younger I may chuse.
The state itself I'll ne'er disparage,
Nor will I war against it wage ;
I do not, Sir, object to Marriagey
But I object to marry age.
See how this pot runs, look'e, Dick,
A jade to serve us such a trick:
Hang it, I'll blow her up sky high.”
Why, Tom, the pot don't run,” “
it does; why, look here,
The table's puddled all with beer."
Says Dick," confound your stupid tongue,
F'll make you own you're in the wrong;
For can't you see, you squabbling sot,
The beer runs out, not the pot !"
It is a maxim in the schools,
That women always doat on fools;
If so, dear Jack, I'm sure your wife,
Must love you as she does her life.
Last night as o'er the page of Love's despair,
My Delia bent deliciously to grieve,
I stood a treacherous loiterer by her chair,
And drew the fatal scissars from my sleeve.
She heard the steel her beauteous lock divide,
And whilst my heart with transport panted big,
She cast a fury frown on me, and cried,
"You stupid puppy,—you have spoil'd my wig.”
Written on hearing that the Queen's Bath on board the Polacre was nothing more than a TUB.
Majocchi's fine story concerning the bath,
Which caus'd such a mighty hub-bub,
Turns out (oh! relate not the tale in Gath!)
Like the rest, all a Tale of a Tub!
ON AN UNPRINCIPLED DEBTOR.
Two reasons are given (which are equally good)
Why the credit of Harry's so bad—
For paying, he has not the means if he would,
Nor is he inclined if he had.
LADIES OF THE TOWN, AND OF THE TON.
What epithets, exclaims a clown,
To womankind belong!
Some are call'd ladies of town,
Some ladies of the ton.
The diff'rence it is hard to trace,
Though diff'rence still there's some!
The wh-- boldly one displays,
The other plays it mum.
Such sweetness and goodness, together combin'd;
So beauteous her face, and so bright is her mind!
So loving, yet chaste; and so humble, yet fair;
So comely her shape, and so decent her air;
So skilful, that Nature's improved by her art;
So prudent her head, and so bounteous her heart;
So wise without pride, and so modestly neat,
'Tis strange this, agreeable creature's a cheat :
But, tho' she to Man for a mortal was giv'n,
These virtues betray her extraction from Heav'n.
What is the reason, can you guess,
Why men are poor, and women thinner? So much they do for dinner daess,
That nothing's left to dress for dinner.
A BUTCHER MARRYING A TANNER'S DAUGHter.
A fitter match than this could not have been,
For now the flesh is married to the skin.
Says Crispin to Nell, Why d'ye grumble, my dear? Saint Monday, our calling must ever revere :'
‹ True,' cries Nell, but of late I've good reason to
For your saint has converted each day in the week.'
BY ONE ATTACKED IN THE ANTI-JACOBIN REVIEW.
In what I write you seek for lines to blame,
Nor vainly strive my failings to unmask;
In what you write I seek for lines to praise,-
Why must the kinder be the harder task?
It sold surprizingly, we once were told ;
And so it did, if only twenty sold.
Brutus unmov'd heard how his Portia fell :
Should Jack's wife die, he would behave just as well.
INSCRIPTION ON A BARREL OF OYSTERS.
Here lies the remains of bodies whose birth
Famed Colchester claim'd, all of true Native worth :
Though rich, they were humble, and never aspir'd;
Their sweetness all praised, and their taste all ad-
True emblems of beauty and health they appear'd; Though their heads had no hair, each wore a long beard.
By all ranks belov'd, yet how strange to relate, Though mankind they befriended, (disastrous fate!) They were torn from their beds, robbed, and left to
And tho' others they fed, fell to hunger a prey!
|