ANECDOTE OF THE ABBÉ DE LA RIVIÈRE. THIS man, whose character was very indifferent, being willing to purchase posthumous praise, offered a hundred crowns to any person who produced the best Epitaph on him. As all Epitaphs are supposed to be panegyrical (particularly those which are paid for), it is difficult to imagine how the poet could reconcile his interest with his integrity; yet the following Epitaph is said to have obtained the money, though it leaves the character of the deceased as equivocal as it probably deserved. HERE lies, whose fame stands on record Was prudent, wise-(your ear-a word— You'll ask, perhaps—and, asking, frown- I gain, in coin, a hundred. EPITAPH ON THOMAS THE FIRST LORD WHARTON, WHO LIES BURIED, WITH HIS TWO WIVES, ELEANOR AND ANN, IN THE CHURCH OF KIRKBY-STEPHEN, IN WESTMORLAND. HERE I Thomas Wharton do lie, And Nelly my wife hard by, O how can I speak without dread! EPITAPH, ON A LAWYER. HIC jacet Jacobus Straw, The Devil cry'd, Jemmy, give us your paw. ARTEMISIA. THO' Artemisia talks by fits Of Councils, Classics, Fathers, Wits; Haughty and huge as High-Dutch bride; On her large squab you find her spread, That lies and stinks in state. She wears no colours (sign of grace!) All white and black beside: Her voice theatrically loud, And masculine her stride. So have I seen, in black and white, A stately worthless animal, That plies the tongue, and wags the tail, All flutter, pride, and talk. FIVE REASONS FOR DRINKING. GOOD wine; a friend; or being dry; ON MR. BOSWELL'S JOURNAL OF A TOUR TO THE HEBRIDES, IN COMPANY WITH DR. JOHNSON. WHEN Jamie Boswell took the pen Whate'er the Doctor blunder'd out, But could it be poor Johnson's fate Dear Jamie, would be thrown at thine. * Osborne, the bookseller, purchased the Harleian Library, and employed Johnson to make a catalogue of it; who, upon some dispute with the former, threw a folio at his head: a trait peculiarly characteristic of the savage ferocity of that Colossus of literature. EDITOR. THE COMMONS' PETITION TO CHARLES II. [ROCHESTER.] In all humility we crave Our Sovereign may be our slave; And, if he please once to lay down THE KING'S ANSWER. CHARLES, at this time, having no need, EPIGRAM, ON AN INSOLVENT BARRISTER. WITHOUT effects is Nolo pros. How happens this? cries one, and pausesHis palm no fees were known to cross; Effects can only spring from causes. K |