The world has turned topsy-turvy, respectable people are being sent off to concentration camps, prisons, and lonely cells, and the dregs that remain govern young and old, rich and poor. One person walks into the trap through the black market, a second through helping the Jews or other people who've had to go “underground"; anyone who isn't a member of the N.S.B. doesn't know what may happen to him from one day to another. This man is a great loss to us too. The girls can't and aren't allowed to haul along our share of potatoes, so the only thing to do is to eat less. I will tell you how we shall do that; it's certainly not going to make things any pleasanter. Mummy says we shall cut out breakfast altogether, have porridge and bread for lunch, and for supper fried potatoes and possibly once or twice per week vegetables or lettuce, nothing more. We're going to be hungry, but anything is better than being discovered. At last, at last I can sit quietly at my table in front of a crack of window and write you everything. I feel so miserable, I haven't felt like this for months; even after the burglary I don't feel so utterly broken. On the one hand, the vegetable man, the Jewish question, which is being discussed minutely over the whole house, the invasion delay, the bad food, the strain, the miserable atmosphere, my disappointment in Peter; and on the other hand, Elli's engagement, Whitsun reception, flowers, Kraler's birthday, fancy cakes, and stories about cabarets, films, and concerts. That difference, that huge difference, it's always there; one day we laugh and see the funny side of the situation, but the next we are afraid, fear, suspense, and despair staring from our faces. Miep and Kraler carry the heaviest burden of the eight in hiding, Miep in all she does, and Kraler through the enormous responsibility, which is sometimes so much for him that he can hardly talk from pent-up nerves and strain. Koophuis and Ellie look after us well too, but they can forget us at times, even if it's only for a few hours, or a day, or even two days. They have their own worries, Koophuis over his health, Elli over her engagement, which is not altogether rosy, but they also have their little outings, visits to friends, and the whole life of ordinary people. For them the suspense is sometimes lifted, even if it is only for a short time, but for us it never lifts for a moment. We've been here for two years now; how long have we still to put up with this almost unbearable, ever increasing pressure? The sewer is blocked, so we mustn't run water, or rather only a trickle; when we go to the W.C. we have to take a lavatory brush with us, and we keep dirty water in a large Cologne pot. We can manage for today, but what do we do if the plumber can't do the job alone? The municipal scavenging service doesn't come until Tuesday. Miep sent us a currant cake, made up in the shape of a doll with the words "Happy Whitsun" on the note attached to it. It's almost as if she's ridiculing us; our present frame of mind and our uneasiness could hardly be called "happy." The affair of the vegetable man has made us more nervous, you hear "ssh, shh" from all sides again, and we're being quieter over everything. The police forced the door there, so they could do it to us too! If one day we too should... no, I mustn't write it, but I can't put the question out of my mind today. On the contrary, all the fear I've already been through seems to face me again in all its frightfulness. This evening at eight o'clock I had to go to the downstairs lavatory all alone; there was no one down there, as everyone was listening to the radio; I wanted to be brave, but it was difficult. I always feel much safer here upstairs than alone downstairs in that large, silent house; alone with the mysterious muffled noises from upstairs and the tooting of motor horns in the street. I have to hurry for I start to quiver if I begin thinking about the situation. Again and again I ask myself, would it not have been better for us all if we had not gone into hiding, and if we were dead now and not going through all this misery, especially as we shouldn't be running our protectors into danger any more. But we all recoil from these thoughts too, for we still love life; we haven't yet forgotten the voice of nature, we still hope, hope about everything. I hope something will happen soon now, shooting if need be-nothing can crush us more than this restlessness. Let the end come, even if it is hard; then at least we shall know whether we are finally going to win through or go under. "Little bundle of contradictions." That's how I ended my last letter and that's how I'm going to begin this one. "A little bundle of contradictions," can you tell me exactly what it is? What does contradiction mean? Like so many words, it can mean two things, contradiction from without and contradiction from within. The first is the ordinary "not giving in easily, always knowing best, getting in the last word," enfin, all the unpleasant qualities for which I'm renowned. The second nobody knows about, that's my own secret. I've already told you before that I have, as it were, a dual personality. One half embodies my exuberant cheerfulness, making fun of everything, my high-spiritedness, and above all, the way I take everything lightly. This includes not taking offense at a flirtation, a kiss, an embrace, a dirty joke. This side is usually lying in wait and pushes away the other, which is much better, deeper and purer. You must re alize that no one knows Anne's better side and that's why most people find me so insufferable. Certainly I'm a giddy clown for one afternoon, but then everyone's had enough of me for another month. Really, it's just the same as a love film is for deep-thinking people, simply a diversion, amusing just for once, something which is soon forgotten, not bad, but certainly not good. I loathe having to tell you this, but why shouldn't I, if I know it's true anyway? My lighter superficial side will always be too quick for the deeper side of me and that's why it will always win. You can't imagine how often I've already tried to push this Anne away, to cripple her, to hide her, because, after all, she's only half of what's called Anne; but it doesn't work and I know, too, why it doesn't work. I'm awfully scared that everyone who knows me as I always am will discover that I have another side, a finer and better side. I'm afraid they'll laugh at me, think I'm ridiculous and sentimental, not take me seriously. I'm used to not being taken seriously but it's only the "lighthearted" Anne that's used to it and can bear it; the "deeper” Anne is too frail for it. Sometimes, if I really compel the good Anne to take the stage for a quarter of an hour, she simply shrivels up as soon as she has to speak, and lets Anne number one take over, and before I realize it, she has disappeared. Therefore, the nice Anne is never present in company, has not appeared one single time so far, but almost always predominates when we're alone. I know exactly how I'd like to be, how I am too . . . inside. But, alas, I'm only like that for myself. And perhaps that's why, no, I'm sure it's the reason why I say I've got a happy nature within and why other people think I've got a happy nature without. I am guided by the pure Anne within, but outside I'm nothing but a frolicsome little goat who's broken loose.... As I've already said, I never utter my real feelings about anything and that's how I've acquired the name of chaser-after-boys, flirt, know-all, reader of love stories. The cheerful Anne laughs about it, gives cheeky answers, shrugs her shoulders indifferently, behaves as if she doesn't care, but, oh dearie me, the quiet Anne's reactions are just the opposite. If I'm to be quite honest, then I must admit that it does hurt me, that I try terribly hard to change myself, but that I'm always fighting against a more powerful enemy. A voice sobs within me: "There you are, that's what's become of you: you're uncharitable, you look supercilious and peevish, people dislike you and all because you won't listen to the advice given you by your own better half." Oh, I would like to listen, but it doesn't work; if I'm quiet and serious, everyone thinks it's a new comedy and then I have to get out of it by turning it into a joke, not to mention my own family, who are sure to think I'm ill, make me swallow pills for headaches and nerves, feel my neck and my head to see whether I'm running a temperature, ask if I'm constipated and criticize me for being in a bad mood. I can't keep that up; if I'm watched to that extent, I start by getting snappy, then unhappy, and finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be, if... there weren't any other people living in the world. Epilogue Yours, Anne Anne's diary ends here. On August 4, 1944, the Grüne Polizei made a raid on the "Secret Annexe." All the occupants, together with Kraler and Koophuis, were arrested and sent to German and Dutch concentration camps. The "Secret Annexe" was plundered by the Gestapo. Among a pile of old books, magazines, and newspapers which were left lying on the floor, Miep and Elli found Anne's diary. Apart from a very few passages, which are of little interest to the reader, the original text has been printed. Of all the occupants of the "Secret Annexe," Anne's father alone returned. Kraler and Koophuis, who withstood the hardships of the Dutch camp, were able to go home to their families. In March 1945, two months before the liberation of Holland, Anne died in the concentration camp at BergenBelsen. German Refugees at Vught The Germans originally established the concentration/transit camp of Vught, located in the southern part of the Netherlands, at the end of 1942. During its existence many Dutch Jews were interned at Vught before being deported to the east via Westerbork. When the German forces liquidated the camp on 3 June 1944, all of its remaining prisoners were deported to either Auschwitz or Sobibor. Later in 1944, Allied military forces converted Vught to a refugee camp to house displaced Germans following evacuation from their destroyed homes. The newspaper PM covered this story on 21 November 1944. These Germans, evacuated from mans except in line of duty. The their wrecked homes, were Colonel himself speaks only to an brought to Vught in military trucks aged Catholic priest who has been and are now settling quite com-made spokesman for the internees. fortably in a camp which was one of the worst hell-houses in Hitler's Europe. Here, the crematorium was kept busy day and night disposing of victims of German sadism. On one occasion 67 women were crammed into a tiny windowless room and left overnight to suffocate or go in Ignored As the Colonel escorted us around the camp I found it most difficult to adhere to Gen. Eisenhower's order. Flaxen-headed children came trooping up with shouts of excitement and we had to keep looking erly inen passed by and lifted their straight ahead, ignoring them. Eld. hats in salute, but still we could give no sign of greeting or acknowledge their existence. Inside one of the huts a mother was feeding her baby out of a tin container-some vegetable preparation. She did not once look up while our party was in the hut. One man, evidently the head man in that hut, saluted, but following the colonel's lead, we looked the other way. The living quarters seemed clean and neat and the colonel said that the way things were going, these have the place tidied up within a German people themselves should Families are permitted to remain together. The German internees have the run of the huge barrack square around which huts are built. Nothing was destroyed by the German troops before they left and tall buildings, which are extremely well constructed, are intact. So is the heavy wire fence which the Germans built around the camp and charged with electric current. The camp commandant now is a dapper little English colonel whose There was one stretch of grass interest is in getting the place run-inside the enclosure on which the ning smoothly. He has neither the Germans forbade Dutchmen to time nor the desire even to look at walk under the penalty of death. the part of the camp where the The stretch of grass is still there, Germans committed their atrocities. but nobody will be shot for walk. His policy is to give the in- ing on that grass today. Perhaps ternees such reasonable liberty as the first step in the re-education of the place lends itself to without an the Germans is being taken here. week or two. Hungary Hungarian Racial Decrees In late March and April 1944, the Hungarian regime of Prime Minister Döme Sztájay introduced strict anti-Jewish legislation aimed at excluding Jews from the economic life of the country. Other decrees, such as the 31 March decree "Concerning the Marking of Jews for Purposes of their Differentiation" facilitated the isolation and deportation of Hungarian Jews during the spring of 1944. The following anti-Jewish decrees were translated from the Hungarian by Clifford Gross. They were originally published on 31 March 1944 in Budapesti Közlöny: Hivatalos Lap (The Gazette of Budapest: Official journal), no. 73, p. 3. Decree No. 1,240 M.E. of the Hungarian Royal Ministry The Hungarian Royal Ministry, on the basis of authorization contained in section 2 of paras. 141 and 212 of Act II of 1939 concerning National Defense, orders the following: Para. 1 (1) Effective immediately upon implementation of the present Decree, every Jewish person six years of age or older, regardless of sex, is required to wear an easily visible 10 by 10 cm. six-pointed star made of cloth, silk, or velvet in canary-yellow color when out-of-doors. (2) The distinguishing symbol cited in the preceding section must be secured by sewing it to the clothing in such a way that it can not easily be detached. Para. 2 (1) In establishing who is a non-Jew and who is a Jew, for the purpose of enforcing the present decree, the stipulations of paras. 9 and 16 of the Act XV of 1941 are the guiding principles; namely, they stipulate that the non-Jew is a person who, with regard to origin and religion, corresponds to the determination contained in the cited last section of para. 9, provided that he has not married or does not marry a Jew or a non-Jew, one or both of whose parents were born members of the Jewish faith. Para. 3 (1) The stipulation contained in para. 1 of the present Decree does not extend to Jews who, for heroic behavior demonstrated before the enemy in the 1914-18 war, were awarded one Gold or Silver Medal First Class for Heroism at least twice, or as junior officers were awarded an Order of the Crown of the Third Class or higher, embellished with swords, or as field-grade officers were awarded an Order of the Iron Crown higher than Third Class, but likewise a medal embellished with swords; it [i.e., the stipulation contained in Para. 1 of the present Decree] similarly does not extend to those who were at least 75% war-disabled; and finally, it does not extend to those who fall under the exception authorized in clause G of the first section of Para. 2 of Act IV of 1939, in Para. 66 of Decree number 7,720/1939 M.E., in Para. 3 of Decree number 2,220/1941 M.E., or in Para. 2 of Decree number 8,550/1941. Para. 4. (1) One who does not satisfy the stipulation contained in Para. 1 of the present Decree commits an offense against the law and is punishable by detention up to two months, during war time up to six months, unless the action falls under a more serious penal clause. (2) The stipulation of Act X of 1928 for fines are guiding principles with the addendum that the maximum fine increases to the level determined in section 1 of para. 212 of Act II of 1939; for conversion to a fine, the stipulation in section 4 of the cited paragraph must be used. (3) For an offense against that law determined under section 1, the procedure lies within the jurisdiction of the administrative authorities and of the Hungarian Royal Police in the operational area of the police force, as a police criminal court. In the third in stance, the Minister of the Interior sits in judgment. Para. 5 (1) This Decree comes into force on 5 April 1944; the Minister of the Interior provides for its implementation. Budapest 29 March 1944 [Signature of Döme Sztójay] Hungarian Royal Prime Minister Decree No. 1,450/1944 M.E. of the Hungarian Royal Ministry Concerning Amendment of Para. 3 of Decree No. 1,240/1944 M.E. on Distinguishing Insignia for Jews The Hungarian Royal Ministry, on the basis of the authorization contained in section 2 of para. 141 of Act II of 1939 concerning National Defense, orders the following: |