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PASSAGES IN THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

A ROUND UNVARNISHED TALE."

From my earliest youth I had a great hankering after every thing theatrical. It was first prompted, I believe, by a performance got up in an old loft in my neighbourhood by a grocer's apprentice; and from that night, I gave up all pursuits but those which had a histrionic tendency. I was about seven years old at the time, and read tolerably well. Up twelfth year I had never seen a performance in a public theatre, and by a regular company; though in the interval I had frequently assisted in murdering some of our best dramatic writers, and even had the temerity to share myself in the composition of a piece, which its framers had the modesty to call a Drama. Unfortunately, as I then thought, this taste of mine was discountenanced by my parents

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-not indeed without cause, as it much interfered with my school studies, which I cultivated only in the degree that I thought they may be subsidiary to the histrionic profession which I had resolved to adopt. Every effort to wean me from my new pursuit proved fruitless. When the night of performance came,

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though locked in a garret, I'd contrive to escape from my attic prison, over the roofs of the houses, to a neighbouring friend, and thence to the place of performance. When the excitement of the scene was over, and the applause of the audience died away on my ear, "oh ! full of scorpions was my my mind dear mother," lest you may have discovered my unauthorised absence, as I repassed the ridgy path to my lofty prison. I mention these matters, merely to shew the early enthusiasm which supported me against the obstacles that in after-times opposed my pursuit.

The death of my father, which took place when I was thirteen or fourteen years old, broke down all bounds between me and my wishes; and though I loved him with a most earnest love, I felt, in spite of myself, some solace in the reflexion that he could no more interfere with my choice of a profession. I must have had some taste, when, in a great theatrical city, I was the first amongst those of my own age-got my choice of characters, and was courted by the various private theatres of the town. But I began to wax weary of this local and circumscribed renown. be the unrivalled Roscius of private theatricals was too trivial a distinction for my great ambition. I panted to appear where no personal partialities should mingle in the shout that hailed my excellence; to illuminate by my genius the various theatres of the empire, until, at length, upon the boards of old Drury or Covent Garden, I should "tread upon the Kean and Kemble glory."

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My great obstacle was the want of money; for I had not the slightest doubt of getting an appearance wherever I applied, and still less of succeeding wherever I appeared.

"Fortune soon granted what my purse denied." Looking one day out of my window, my attention was arrested by a lady seemingly beckoning for me. As my devotion to the drama had entirely prevented my making any female acquaintance, I could not think the sign was for me, until, at length, recognising the features of a girl who made her first appearance as Belvidera to my Jaffier. I flew delighted to meet her. I had a kind of dreamy anticipation of my wishes being about to be consummated. I knew she had joined a travelling, or as the vulgar call it, a strolling company; and took it for granted that the manager, having heard of my transcendent abilities, had sent her with overtures of an engagement. It was not quite so flattering as I expected. The manager did want a performer, but the brute had not heard of me; and, but for Mary Anne's suggestion, my golden dream would have yet remained unrealised. One obstacle still stood in my way. The person wanted to fill up the corps dramatique was required to be generally useful, and capable of undertaking the juvenile tragedy and light comedy business. Now, though in my own opinion the first tragedian of the day, having played Zanga, Jaffier, Castalio, Sir Edward Mortimer, &c. to crowded houses and with unbounded applause, yet, as my desires never led me to flatter my vanity

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in the light comedy line, I was aware of my own incapability in that respect. To say the truth, I despised every thing that bore the semblance of gaiety. My spirit feigned or fancied itself enamoured of melancholy. I could "be sad as night merely for wantonness," and endeavoured to smile like Cassius

"As if I mocked myself and scorn'd my spirit,

"That could be brought to smile at any thing."

Had I the framing of a world, at the time, it would have been made with a view to stage effect, and the whole history of man should be wound up into a tragedy plot.

With this disposition it may be imagined how grating it was to me to have it proposed that I should " 'jig, and amble, and lisp," and do all the buffoonery of comedy. Mary Anne overruled my objections. When the manager became aware of my great tragic powers he would require no other business at my hands, and such an opportunity of developing my talent should not be omitted. I was not difficult of conviction, and the evening was appointed for an introduction to the manager.

How anxiously I waited the hour only those can tell, who, having set their all upon the cast, watch the hazard of the die that turns up success or defeat to every future prospect. I could eat no dinner— I went amongst my books to select some passage in the event of my being asked to recite by the manager. My mind was too hurried and too agitated to allow of any selection. Confidence was beginning to give

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