During three whole days and nights did she, attended by a valet, ride from place to place without success, unmindful of her health, and careless of her reputation, that began to suffer from the nature of her inquiry, which was pursued with such peculiar eagerness and distraction, that every body with whom she conversed looked upon her as an unhappy person, whose intellects were not a little disordered.

Neither did she wait long for an opportunity | with a view of consulting her sister's tranof putting her resolution in practice. The quillity, but on a random search through the very next day, a gentleman happening to whole county, for this unlucky fruit, which dine with Mr Pickle, unfortunately mention- was like to produce so much vexation and ed a pine-apple, part of which he had eaten prejudice to her and her father's house. a week before at the house of a nobleman, who lived in another part of the country, at the distance of a hundred miles at least. The name of this fatal fruit was no sooner pronounced, than Mrs Grizzle, who incessantly watched her sister's looks, took the aları, because she thought they gave certain indications of curiosity and desire; and, after having observed that she herself could never eat pine-apples, which were altogether unnatural productions, extorted by the force of artificial fire out of filthy manure, asked, with a faltering voice, if Mrs Pickle was not of her way of thinking? This young lady, who wanted neither slyness nor penetration, at once divined her meaning, and replied, with seeming unconcern, that, for her own part, she should never repine if there was not a pine-apple in the universe, provided she could indulge herself with the fruits of her own country.

This answer was calculated for the benefit of the stranger, who would certainly have suffered for his imprudence by the resentment of Mrs Grizzle, had her sister expressed the least relish for the fruit in question. It had the desired effect, and re-established the peace of the company, which was not a little endangered by the gentleman's want of consideration. Next morning, however, after breakfast, the pregnant lady, in pursuance of her plan, yawned, as it were by accident, full in the face of her maiden sister, who, being infinitely disturbed by this convulsion, affirmed it was a symptom of longing, and insisted upon knowing the object in desire; when Mrs Pickle, assuming an affected smile, told her she had eaten a most delicious pineapple in her sleep. This declaration was attended with an immediate scream, uttered by Mrs Grizzle, who instantly perceiving her sister surprised at the exclamation, clasped her in her arms, and assured her, with a sort of hysterical laugh, that she could not help screaming with joy, because she had it in her power to gratify her dear sister's wish; a lady in the neighbourhood having promised to send her, in a present, a couple of delicate pine-apples, which she would that very day go in quest of.

Mrs Pickle would by no means consent to this proposal, on pretence of sparing the other unnecessary fatigue; and assured her, that if she had any desire to eat a pine-apple, it was so faint that the disappointment could produce no bad consequence. But this assurance was conveyed in a manner (which she knew very well how to adopt) that, instead of dissuading, rather stimulated Mrs Grizzle to set out immediately, not on a visit to that lady, whose promise she herself had feigned,

Baffled in all her researches within the county, she at length resolved to visit that very nobleman, at whose house the officious stranger had been (for her) so unfortunately regaled, and actually arrived in a post-chaise at the place of his habitation, where she introduced her business as an affair on which the happiness of a whole family depended. By virtue of a present to his lordship's gardener, she procured the Hesperian fruit, with which she returned in triumph.

CHAPTER VI.

Mrs Grizzle is indefatigable in gratifying her sister's longing.-Peregrine is born, and managed contrary to the directions and remonstrances of his aunt, who is disgusted upon that account, and resumes the plan which she had before rejected.

THE success of this device would have encouraged Mrs Pickle to practise more of the same sort upon her sister-in-law, had she not been deterred by a violent fever which seized her zealous ally, in consequence of the fatigue and uneasiness she had undergone ; which, while it lasted, as effectually conduced to her repose as any other stratagem she could invent. But Mrs Grizzle's health was no sooner restored, than the other, being as much incommoded as ever, was obliged, in her own defence, to have recourse to some other contrivance; and managed her artifices in such a manner as leaves it at this day a doubt whether she was really so whimsical and capricious in her appetites as she herself pretended to be; for her longings were not restricted to the demands of the palate and stomach, but also affected all the other organs of sense, and even invaded her imagi nation, which at this period seemed to be strangely diseased.

One time she longed to pinch her husband's ear; and it was with infinite difficulty that her sister could prevail upon him to undergo the operation. Yet this task was easy, in comparison with another she undertook for the gratification of Mrs Pickle's unaccountable desire; which was no other than

perficies of Mr Trunnion's face; when Mrs Grizzle, very much alarmed and disconcerted, had recourse to a magnifying glass that stood upon her toilet; and, after a most accurate examination, discovered a fibre of a dusky hue, to which the instrument being. applied, Mrs Pickle pulled it up by the root, to the no small discomposure of the owner, who feeling the smart much more severe than he had expected, started up, and swore he would not part with another hair to save them all from damnation.

to persuade the commodore to submit his chin to the mercy of the big-bellied lady, who ardently wished for an opportunity of plucking three black hairs from his beard. When this proposal was first communicated to Mr Trunnion by the husband, his answer was nothing but a dreadful effusion of oaths, accompanied with such a stare, and delivered in such a tone of voice, as terrified the poor beseecher into immediate silence; so that Mrs Grizzle was fain to take the whole enterprise upon herself, and next day went to the garrison accordingly, where, having obtained entrance by means of the lieutenant, who, while his comrade was asleep, ordered her to be admitted for the joke's sake, she waited patiently till he turned out, and then accosted him in the yard, where he used to perform his morning walk. He was thunderstruck at the appearance of a woman in a place which he had hitherto kept sacred from the whole sex, and immediately began to utter an apostrophe to Tom Pipes, whose turn it was then to watch; when Mrs Grizzle, falling on her knees before him, conjured him, with many pathetic supplications, to hear and grant her request; which was no sooner signified, than he bellowed in such an outrageous manner that the whole court re-self from her embraces, flung out at the door, echoed the opprobrious term bitch, and the word damnation, which he repeated with surprising volubility, without any sort of propriety or connexion; and retreated into his penetralia, leaving the baffled devotee in the humble posture she had so unsuccessfully chosen to melt his obdurate heart.

Mr Hatchway exhorted him to patience and resignation; Mrs Grizzle repeated her entreaties with great humility; but finding him deaf to all her prayers, and absolutely bent upon leaving the house, she clasped his knees, and begged, for the love of God, that he would have compassion upon a distressed family, and endure a little more for the sake of the poor infant, who would otherwise be born with a grey beard upon its chin. Far from being melted, he was rather exasperated by this reflection; to which he replied with great indignation, "D-n you for a yaw-sighted bitch! he'll be hanged long enough before he has any beard at all;" so saying, he disengaged him

and halted homewards with such surprising speed, that the lieutenant could not overtake him until he had arrived at his own gate; and Mrs Grizzle was so much affected with his escape, that her sister, in pure compassion, desired she would not afflict herself, protesting that her own wish was Mortifying as this repulse must have been already gratified, for she had plucked three to a lady of her stately disposition, she did hairs at once, having from the beginning not relinquish her aim, but endeavoured to been dubious of the commodore's patience. interest the commodore's counsellors and ad- But the labours of this assiduous kinswoman herents in her cause. With this view she did not end with the achievement of this adsolicited the interest of Mr Hatchway, who, venture; her eloquence or industry was embeing highly pleased with a circumstance so ployed without ceasing, in the performance productive of mirth and diversion, readily of other tasks imposed by the ingenious craft entered into her measures, and promised to of her sister-in-law, who, at another time, employ his whole influence for her satisfac- conceived an insuppressible affection for a frition and as for the boatswain's mate, he cassee of frogs, which should be the genuine was rendered propitious by the present of a natives of France; so that there was the neguinea, which she slipped into his hand. In cessity of despatching a messenger on purshort, Mrs Grizzle was continually engaged pose to that kingdom; but, as she could not in this negotiation for the space of ten days, depend upon the integrity of any common during which the commodore was so incess- servant, Mrs Grizzle undertook that proantly pestered with her remonstrances, and vince, and actually set sail in a cutter for the admonitions of his associates, that he Boulogne, from whence she returned in swore his people had a design upon his life, eight-and-forty hours with a tub-full of those which becoming a burden to him, he at last live animals, which, being dressed according complied, and was conducted to the scene to art, her sister would not taste them, on like a victim to the altar, or rather like a pretence that her fit of longing was past; reluctant bear, when he is led to the stake but then her inclinations took a different amidst the shouts and cries of butchers and turn, and fixed themselves upon a curious their dogs. After all, this victory was not implement belonging to a lady of quality in quite so decisive as the conquerors imagin- the neighbourhood, which was reported to ed; for the patient being set, and the per- be a very great curiosity; this was no other former prepared with a pair of pincers, a small than a porcelain chamber-pot of admirable difficulty occurred: she could not for some workmanship, contrived by the honourable time discern one black hair on the whole su-owner, who kept it for her own private use,

and cherished it as an utensil of inestimable, opposed it with all her eloquence, shedding value.

Mrs Grizzle shuddered at the first hint she received of her sister's desire to possess this piece of furniture, because she knew it was not to be purchased; and the lady's character, which was none of the most amiable in point of humanity and condescension, forbade all hopes of borrowing it for a season; she therefore attempted to reason down this capricious appetite, as an extravagance of imagination which ought to be combated and repressed; and Mrs Pickle, to all appearance, was convinced and satisfied by her arguments and advice; but, nevertheless, could make use of no other convenience, and was threatened with a very dangerous suppression. Roused at the peril in which she supposed her to be, Mrs Grizzle flew to the lady's house, and, having obtained a private audience, disclosed the melancholy situation of her sister, and implored the benevolence of her ladyship; who, contrary to expectation, received her very graciously, and consented to indulge Mrs Pickle's longing. Mr Pickle began to be out of humour at the expense to which he was exposed by the caprice of his wife, who was herself alarmed at this last incident, and, for the future, kept her fancy within bounds; insomuch, that, without being subject to any more extraordinary trouble, Mrs Grizzle reaped the longwished-for fruits of her dearest expectation in the birth of a fine boy, whom her sister in a few months brought into the world.

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abundance of tears over the sacrifice when it was made, but took horse immediately, and departed for the habitation of an eminent country physician, whom she consulted in these words: "Pray, doctor, is it not both dangerous and cruel to be the means of letting a poor tender infant perish, by sousing it in water as cold as ice?" Yes," replied the doctor, "downright murder, I affirm.” "I see you are a person of great learning and sagacity," said the other; "and I must beg you will be so good as to signify your opinion in your own handwriting." The doctor immediately complied with her request, and expressed himself upon a slip of paper to this purpose:

"These are to certify whom it may concern, that I firmly believe, and it is my unalterable opinion, that whomsoever letteth an infant perish, by sousing it in cold water, even though the said water should not be so cold as ice, is in effect guilty of the murder of the said infant-as witness my hand, "COMFIT COLYCYNTH."

Having obtained this certificate, for which the physician was immediately acknowledg ed, she returned, exulting, and hoping, with such authority, to overthrow all opposition. Accordingly, next morning, when her nephew was about to undergo his diurnal baptism, she produced the commission, whereby she conceived herself empowered to overrule such inhuman proceedings. But she was disappointed in her expectation, confident as it was; not that Mrs Pickle pretended to differ in opinion from Dr Colycynth, "for whose character and sentiments," said she, "I have such veneration, that I shall carefully observe the caution implied in this very certificate, by which, far from condemning my method of practice, he only asserts that killing is murder; an asseveration, the truth of which, it is to be hoped, I shall never dispute."

I shall omit the description of the rejoicings, which were infinite, on this important occasion, and only observe, that Mrs Pickle's mother and aunt stood godmothers, and the commodore assisted at the ceremony as godfather to the child, who was christened by the name of Peregrine, in compliment to the memory of a deceased uncle. While the mother was confined to her bed, and incapable of maintaining her own authority, Mrs Grizzle took charge of the infant by a Mrs Grizzle, who, sooth to say, had radouble claim; and superintended with sur-ther too superficially considered the clause prising vigilance the nurse and midwife by which she thought herself authorised, pein all the particulars of their respective rused the paper with more accuracy, and was offices, which were performed by her ex- confounded at her own want of penetration. press direction. But no sooner was Mrs Yet, though she was confuted, she was by Pickle in a condition to reassume the ma- no means convinced that her objections to nagement of her own affairs, than she thought the cold bath were unreasonable; on the proper to alter certain regulations concern- contrary, after having bestowed sundry oping the child, which had obtained in conse- probrious epithets on the physician, for his quence of her sister's orders; directing, want of knowledge and candour, she proamong other innovations, that the bandages tested, in the most earnest and solemn manwith which the infant had been so neatly ner, against the pernicious practice of dipprolled up, like an Egyptian mummy, should ing the child: a piece of cruelty which, with be loosened and laid aside, in order to rid God's assistance, she should never suffer to nature of all restraint, and give the blood be inflicted on her own issue: and washing free scope to circulate; and with her own her hands of the melancholy consequence hands she plunged him headlong every morn- that would certainly ensue, shut herself up ing into a tub-full of cold water. This opera- in her closet, to indulge her sorrow and vextion seemed so barbarous to the tender- ation. She was deceived, however, in her hearted Mrs Grizzle, that she not only prognostic: the boy, instead of declining in F

point of health, seemed to acquire fresh vi- | doubt but that such an old crazy vessel would gour from every plunge, as if he had been be the better for being taken in tow. 'But resolved to discredit the wisdom and fore- howsomever," added this arch adviser, "I'd sight of his aunt, who, in all probability, have you take care of your upper works; for could never forgive him for this want of re- if once you are made fast to her poop, egad! verence and respect. This conjecture is she'll spank it away, and make every beam founded upon her behaviour to him in the in your body crack with straining." Our sequel of his infancy, during which she was she-projector's whole plan had like to have known to torture him more than once, when been ruined by the effect which this malicious she had opportunities of thrusting pins into hint had upon Trunnion, whose rage and his flesh without any danger of being de- suspicion being awakened at once, his colour tected. In a word, her affections were in a changed from tawney to a cadaverous pale, little time altogether alienated from this and then shifting to a deep and dusky red, hope of her family, whom she abandoned such as we sometimes observe in the sky to the conduct of his mother, whose pro- when it is replete with thunder, he, after his vince it undoubtedly was to manage the nur- usual preamble of unmeaning oaths, answerture of her own child; while she herself re-ed in these words: "Damn ye, you jurysumed her operations upon the commodore, whom she was resolved at any rate to captivate and enslave. And it must be owned, that Mrs Grizzle's knowledge of the human heart never shone so conspicuous, as in the methods she pursued for the accomplishment of this important aim.

legged dog, you would give all the stowage in your hold to be as sound as I am; and as for being taken in tow, d'ye see, I'm not so disabled but that I can lie my course, and perform my voyage, without any assistance; and, egad! no man shall ever see Hawser Trunnion lagging astern in the wake of e'er a b— in Christendom."

Mrs Grizzle, who every morning interrogated her brother with regard to the subject of his over-night's conversation with his friends, soon received the unwelcome news of the commodore's aversion to matrimony; and justly imputing the greatest part of his disgust to the satirical insinuations of Mr Hatchway, resolved to level this obstruction to her success, and actually found means to interest him in her scheme. She had, indeed, on some occasions, a particular knack at mak

Through the rough unpolished husk that cased the soul of Trunnion, she could easily distinguish a large share of that vanity and self-conceit that generally predominate even in the most savage breast; and to this she constantly appealed. In his presence, she always exclaimed against the craft and dishonest dissimulation of the world, and never failed of uttering particular invectives against those arts of chicanery in which the lawyers are so conversant, to the prejudice and ruin of their fellow creatures; observing, that, in a seafaring life, so far as she had opportuni-ing converts, being probably not unacquaintties of judging or being informed, there was ed with that grand system of persuasion nothing but friendship, sincerity, and a hearty which is adopted by the greatest personages contempt for every thing that was mean or of the age, as fraught with maxims much selfish. more effectual than all the eloquence of TulThis kind of conversation, with the assist-ly or Demosthenes, even when supported by ance of certain particular civilities, insensibly made an impression on the mind of the commodore, and that the more effectually, as his former prepossessions were built upon very slender foundations: his antipathy to old maids, which he had conceived upon hearsay, began gradually to diminish, when he found they were not quite such infernal animals as they had been represented; and it was not long before he was heard to observe, at the club, that Pickle's sister had not so much of the core of bitch in her as he had imagined. This negative compliment, by the medium of her brother, soon reached the ears of Mrs Grizzle, who, thus encouraged, redoubled all her arts and attention; so that, in less than three months after, he in the same place distinguished her with the epithet of a damned sensible jade.

Hatchway taking the alarm at this declaration, which he feared foreboded something fatal to his interest, told his commander, with a sneer, that she had sense enough to bring him to under her stern; and he did not

the demonstrations of truth: besides, Mr Hatchway's fidelity to his new ally was confirmed by his foreseeing in his captain's marriage an infinite fund of gratification for his own cynical disposition. Thus, therefore, converted and properly cautioned, he for the future suppressed all the virulence of his wit against the matrimonial state; and, as he knew not how to open his mouth in the positive praise of any person whatever, took all opportunities of excepting Mrs Grizzle by name from the censures he liberally bestowed upon the rest of her sex. "She is not a drunkard, like Nan Castick of Deptford (he would say); not a nincompoop, like Peg Simper of Woolwich; not a brimstone, like Kate Coddie of Chatham; nor a shrew, like Nell Griffin on the Point at Portsmouth (ladies to whom, at different times, they had both paid their addresses); but a tight, good-humoured, sensible wench, who knows very well how to box her compass; well trimmed aloft, and well sheathed alow, with a good cargo under her hatches." The commodore at first ima

gined this commendation was ironical, but hearing it repeated again and again, was filled with astonishment at this surprising change in the lieutenant's behaviour; and after a long fit of musing, concluded that Hatchway himself harboured a matrimonial design on the person of Mrs Grizzle.

that he could no longer resist her importunities; and a scrivener arriving, she dictated and executed her will, in which she bequeathed to Commodore Trunnion one thousand pounds to purchase a mourning ring, which she hoped he would wear as a pledge of her friendship and affection. Her brother, though he did not much relish this testimony of her love, nevertheless that same evening gave an account of this particular to Mr Hatchway, who was also, as Mr Pickle assured him, generously remembered by the testatrix.

Pleased with this conjecture, he rallied Jack in his turn, and one night toasted her health as a compliment to his passion; a circumstance which the lady learned next day by the usual canal of her intelligence, and interpreting as the result of his own tenderness for her, she congratulated herself upon the victory she had obtained; and thinking it unnecessary to continue the reserve she had hitherto industriously affected, resolved from that day to sweeten her behaviour towards him with such a dish of affection as could not fail to persuade him that he had inspired her with a reciprocal flame. In consequence of this determination, he was invited to dinner, and, while he stayed, treated with such cloying proofs of her regard, that not only the rest of the company, but even Trunnion himself, perceived her drift; and taking the alarm accordingly, could not help exclaiming," Oho, I see how the land lies, and if I don't weather the point I'll be damned." Having thus expressed himself to bis afflicted inamorata, he made the best of his way to the garrison, in which he shut himself up for the space of ten days, and had no communication with his friends and domestics but by looks, which were most signifi-and-twenty hours without ceasing. This cantly picturesque.

CHAPTER VII.

Divers stratagems are invented and put in practice, in order to overcome the obstinacy of Trunnion, who at length is teased and tortured into the noose of wedlock.

The lieutenant, fraught with this piece of intelligence, watched for an opportunity; and as soon as he perceived the commodore's features a little unbended from that ferocious contraction they had retained so long, ventured to inform him that Pickle's sister lay at the point of death, and that she had left him a thousand pounds in her will. This piece of news overwhelmed him with confusion; and Mr Hatchway, imputing his silence to remorse, resolved to take advantage of that favourable moment, and counselled him to go and visit the poor young woman, who was dying for love of him. But his admonition happened to be somewhat unseasonable; for Trunnion no sooner heard him mention the cause of her disorder, than his morosity recurring, he burst out into a violent fit of cursing, and forthwith betook himself again to his hammock, where he lay uttering, in a low growling tone of voice, a repetition of oaths and imprecations, for the space of four

was a delicious meal to the lieutenant, who, eager to enhance the pleasure of the entertainment, and at the same time conduce to the success of the cause he had espoused, invented a stratagem, the execution of which had all the effect he could desire. He prevailed upon Pipes, who was devoted to his service, to get upon the top of the chimney belonging to the commodore's chamber, at midnight, and to lower down by a rope a THIS abrupt departure and unkind declara- bunch of stinking whitings; which being pertion affected Mrs Grizzle so much, that she formed, he put a speaking trumpet to his fell sick of sorrow and mortification; and, mouth, and hollowed down the vent, in a after having confined herself to her bed for voice like thunder, Trunnion! Trunnion! three days, sent for her brother, told him she turn out and be spliced, or lie still and be perceived her end drawing near, and desired damned.' This dreadful note, the terror of that a lawyer might be brought, in order to which was increased by the silence and dark-. write her last will. Mr Pickle, surprised at ness of the night, as well as the echo of the her demand, began to act the part of a com- passage through which it was conveyed, no forter, assuring her that her distemper was sooner reached the ears of the astonished not at all dangerous; and that he would in- commodore, than turning his eye towards the stantly send for a physician, who would con- place from whence this solemn address seemvince her that she was in no manner of jeop-ed to proceed, he beheld a glittering object ardy; so that there was no occasion at present to employ an officious attorney in such a melancholy task. Indeed, this affectionate brother was of opinion, that a will was altogether superfluous at any rate, as he himself was heir-at-law to his sister's whole real and personal estate. But she insisted upon his compliance with such determined obstinacy,

that vanished in an instant. Just as his superstitious fear had improved the apparition into some supernatural messenger clothed in shining array, his opinion was confirmed by a sudden explosion, which he took for thunder, though it was no other than the noise of a pistol fired down the chimney by the boatswain's mate, according to the instruc