nothing; hoping that by means of some lucky cure his fame might be extended, and his practice grow into request.

were no longer obliged to cultivate those arts | by which they rose; and that the rest of the business was parcelled out into small inclosures, occupied by different groups of per- In the mean time, his chariot rolled along sonages, male and female, who stood in rings, through all the most frequented streets, durand tossed the ball from one to another, ing the whole forenoon, and, at the usual there being in each department two sets, the hour, he never failed to make his appearance individuals of which relieved one another at the medical coffeehouse, with all that occasionally. Every knot was composed of solemnity of feature and address, by which a waiting-woman, nurse, apothecary, sur- the modern sons of Paan are distinguished; geon, and physician, and sometimes a mid- not but that he was often puzzled about the wife was admitted into the party; and in this decision of his diurnal route: for the method manner the farce was commonly performed. of driving up one street and down another, A fine lady, fatigued with idleness, com- without halting, was become such a stale plains of the vapours, is deprived of her rest, expedient, that the very 'prentices used to though not so sick as to have recourse to stand at the shop-doors, and ridicule the vain medicine; her favourite maid, tired with giv- parade. At length, however, he perused the ing her attendance in the night, thinks pro- map of London with great diligence, and per, for the benefit of her own repose, to having acquired a distinct idea of its topocomplain of a violent headach, and recom-graphy, used to alight at the end of long mends to her mistress a nurse of approved narrow thoroughfares and paved courts, where tenderness and discretion; at whose house the chariot was ordered to wait till his re(in all likelihood) the said chamber-maid turn; and walking with great gravity through hath oft given the rendezvous to a male friend. the different turnings of these alleys, regain The nurse, well skilled in the mysteries of his carriage by another passage, and resume her occupation, persuades the patient, that his seat with an air of vast importance. With her malady, far from being slight or chimeri- | a view to protract the time of his supposed cal, may proceed to a very dangerous degree of the hysterical affection, unless it be nipt in the bud by some very effectual remedy: then she recounts a surprising cure performed by a certain apothecary, and appeals to the testimony of the waiting woman, who being the gossip of his wife, confirms the evidence and corroborates the proposal. The apothecary being summoned, finds her ladyship in such a delicate situation, that he declines prescribing, and advises her to send for a physician without delay. The nomination of course falls to him, and the doctor being called, declares the necessity of immediate venesection, which is accordingly performed by the surgeon of the association.

This is one way of beginning the game: though the commencement often varies, and sometimes the apothecary, and sometimes the physician, opens the scene; but, be that as it will, they always appear in a string, like a flight of wild geese, and each confederacy maintains a correspondence with one particular undertaker. Fathom, upon these considerations, set up his rest in the first floor of an apothecary in the neighbourhood of Charing Cross, to whom he was introduced by a letter from a friend at Tunbridge, and who being made acquainted with his ability and scheme, promised to let slip no opportunity of serving him; and, indeed, seemed to espouse his interest with great alacrity. He introduced him to some of his patients, on the strength of a gratis visit, sounded forth his praise among all the good women of his acquaintance; and even prevailed upon him to publish advertisements, importing, that he would every day, at a certain time and place, give his advice to the poor for

visits, he would, at one place, turn aside to the wall; at another, cheapen an urinal; at a third corner, read a quack advertisement, or lounge a few minutes in some bookseller's shop; and, lastly, glide into some obscure coffeehouse, and treat himself with a dram of usquebaugh.

The other means used to force a trade, such as ordering himself to be called from church, alarming the neighbourhood with knocking at his door in the night, receiving sudden messages in places of resort, and inserting his cures by way of news in the daily papers, had been so injudiciously hackneyed by every desperate sculler in physic, that they had lost their effect upon the public, and therefore were excluded from the plan of our adventurer, whose scheme for the present, was to exert himself in winning the favour of those sage sibyls, who keep, as it were, the temple of medicine, and admit the young priest to the service of the altar; but this he considered as a temporary project only, until he should have acquired interest enough to erect a hospital, lock, or infirmary, by the voluntary subscription of his friends; a scheme which had succeeded to a miracle with many of the profession, who had raised themselves into notice upon the carcasses of the poor.

Yet even this branch was already overstocked, insomuch that almost every street was furnished with one of these charitable receptacles, which, instead of diminishing the taxes for the maintenance of the poor, encouraged the vulgar to be idle and dissolute, by opening an asylum to them and their families, from the diseases of poverty and intemperance: for it remains to be proved,

that the parish rates are decreased, the bills | when he had opportunities of being particular of mortality lessened, the people more nu- with this new inamorata, and, in proportion merous, or the streets less infested with beg- to the returns she made, he gradually detached gars, notwithstanding the immense sums himself from Miss Biddy, by intermitting, yearly granted by individuals for the relief and at last discontinuing, those ardent exof the indigent. pressions of love and admiration, which he had made shift to convey in private looks and stolen whispers, during the rancorous inspection of her mother.

But, waving these reflections, Doctor Fathom hoped that his landlord would be a most useful implement for extending his influence, and, for that reason, admitted him into a degree of partnership, after being fully convinced that he was not under articles to any other physician. Nevertheless, he was very much mistaken in reckoning on the importance of his new ally, who was, like himself, a needy adventurer, settled upon credit, and altogether unemployed, except among the very refuse of the people, whom no other person would take the trouble to attend: so that our hero got little else than experience and trouble, excepting a few guineas, which he made shift to glean among sojourners, with whom he became occasionally acquainted, or young people, who had been unfortunate in their amours.

Such alteration could not long escape the jealous eyes of the young lady, no more than the cause of this alienation, which, in a moment, converted all her love into irreconcilable hate, and filled her whole soul with the most eager desire of vengeance: for she now not only considered him as a mercenary wretch, who had slighted her attractions for the sordid gratifications of avarice, but also as an interloper, who wanted to intercept her fortune, in the odious character of a father-in-law. But, before she could bring her aim to any ripeness of contrivance, her mother having caught cold at church, was seized with a rheumatic fever, became delirious in less than three days, and, notwithstanding all the prescriptions and care of her admirer, gave up the ghost, without having retrieved the use of her senses, or been able to manifest, by will, the sentiments she entertained in favour of her physician, who (as the reader will easily perceive) had more reasons than one to be mortally chagrined at this event.

Miss Biddy being thus put in possession of the whole inheritance, not only renounced all correspondence with Doctor Fathom, by forbidding him the house, but likewise took all opportunities of prejudicing his character, by hinting, that her dear mamma had fallen a sacrifice to his ignorance and presumption.

In the midst of these endeavours, he did not omit his duty to the old gentlewoman, whose daughter he had cured at Tunbridge; and was always received with particular complacency, which perhaps he, in some measure, owed to his genteel equipage, that gave credit to every door before which it was seen; yet Miss Biddy was as inaccessible as ever, while the mother became more and more warm in her civilities, till at length, after having prepared him with some extraordinary compliments, she gave him to understand, that Biddy was no better than a giddy. headed girl, far from being unexceptionable in her moral character, and particularly deficient in duty and gratitude to her, who had been always a tender and indulgent parent; she was therefore determined to punish the young minx for her levity and want of natu- Acquires ral affection, by altering her own condition, could she find a worthy and agreeable man, on whom she could bestow her hand and fortune without a blush.

CHAPTER LIII.

employment in consequence of a lucky miscarriage.

THESE ill offices, however, far from answering her purpose, had a quite contrary effect: for, in consequence of her invectives, he was, in a few days, called to the wife of a merchant, who piously hoped, that his practice would not give Miss Biddy the lie. The patient had long lingered under a complica

The film was instantly removed from Fathom's eyes by this declaration, which she uttered with such a significancy of look, as thrilled to his soul with joyful presage, while he replied, it would, indeed, be a difficult task to find a man who merited such happi-tion of distempers, and being in no immediate ness and honour; but, surely, some there were, who would task their faculties to the uttermost in manifesting their gratitude, and desire of rendering themselves worthy of such distinction. Though this answer was pronounced in such a manner, as gave her to understand he had taken the hint, she would not cheapen her condescension so much as to explain herself further at that juncture, and he was very well contented to woo her on her own terms; accordingly he began to season his behaviour with an air of gallantry,

danger of her life, Doctor Fathom was in no hurry to strike a decisive stroke; till the husband growing impatient of delay, and so explicit in his hints, that it was impossible to misapprehend his meaning, our adventurer resolved to do something effectual for his satisfaction, and prescribed a medicine of such rough operation, as he thought must either oblige his employer, or produce a change in the lady's constitution, that would make a noise in the world, and bring a new accession to his fame.

now gave rise; as, by the miraculous cure he had effected, all his patient's friends, all the enemies of her husband, all those who envied his other adversary, were interested in his behalf, exclusive of such admirers as surprise and curiosity might engage in his

Proceeding upon these maxims, he could not be disappointed: the remedy played its part with such violence, as reduced the patient to extremity, and the merchant had actually bespoken an undertaker; when, after a series of swoonings and convulsions, nature so far prevailed, as to expel at once the pre-cause. scription and the disease; yet the goodnatured husband was so much affected with the agonies to which he saw the wife of his bosom exposed by this specific, that although the effect of it was her perfect recovery, he could never bear the sight of Fathom for the future, nor even hear his name mentioned, without giving signs of horror and indignation; nay, he did not scruple to affirm, that, had our adventurer been endowed with the least tincture of humanity, he would have suffered the poor woman to depart in peace, rather than restore her to health, at the expense of such anxiety and torture.

Thus wafted upon the wings of applause, his fame soon diffused itself into all the corners of this great capital: the newspapers teemed with his praise: and in order to keep up the attention of the public, his emissaries, male and female, separated into different coffeehouses, companies, and clubs, where they did not fail to comment upon these articles of intelligence. Such a favourable incident is, of itself, sufficient to float the bark of a man's fortune: he was, in a few days, called to another lady, labouring under the same disorder he had so successfully dispelled, and she thought herself benefited by his advice. His acquaintance naturally extended itself among the visitants and allies of his patients; he was recommended from family to family; the fees began to multiply; a variety of footmen appeared every day at his door; he discontinued his sham circuit; and looking upon the present conjuncture as that tide in his affairs, which (according to Shakspeare) when taken at the full leads on to fortune, he resolved that the opportunity should not be lost, and applied himself with such assiduity to his practice, that, in all likelihood, he would have carried the palm from all his contemporaries, had he not split upon the same rock which had shipwrecked his hopes before.

On the other hand, this extraordinary cure was blazoned abroad by the good lady and her gossips, with such exaggerations as roused the astonishment of the public, and concurred with the report of his last miscarriage, to bring him upon the carpet, as the universal subject of discourse. When a physician becomes the town talk, he generally concludes his business more than half done, even though his fame should wholly turn upon his mal-practice; insomuch that some members of the faculty have been heard to complain, that they never had the good fortune to be publicly accused of homicide: and it is well known, that a certain famous empiric of our day never flourished to any degree of wealth and reputation, till after he had been attacked in print, and fairly convicted of having destroyed a good number of the human species. Success raised upon such a foundation would, by a disciple of Plato, and some modern moralists, be ascribed to the innate virtue and generosity of the human heart, which naturally espouses the cause that needs protection but I, whose notions of human excellence are not quite so sublime, am apt to believe it is owing to that spirit of self-ertion of his delusive arts, while her mind conceit and contradiction, which is, at least, as universal, if not as natural, as the moral sense so warmly contended for by those ideal philosophers.

The most infamous wretch often finds his account in these principles of malevolence and self love for wheresoever his character falls under discussion, there is generally some person present, who, either from an affectation of singularity, or envy to the accusers, undertakes his defence, and endeavours to invalidate the articles of his impeachment, until he is heated by altercation, and hurried into more effectual measures for his advantage. If such benefits accrue to those who have no real merit to depend upon, surely our hero could not but reap something extraordinary from the debates to which he

We have formerly descanted upon that venereal appetite which glowed in the constitution of our adventurer, and with all his philosophy and caution could hardly keep within bounds; the reader, therefore, will not be much surprised to learn, that, in the exercise of his profession, he contracted an intimacy with a clergyman's wife, whom he attended as a physician, and whose conjugal virtue he subdued by a long and diligent ex

was enervated by sickness, and her husband abroad upon his necessary occasions. This unhappy patient, who was a woman of an agreeable person and lively conversation, fell a sacrifice to her own security and self-conceit: her want of health had confined her to a sedentary life, and, her imagination being active and restless, she had spent those hours in reading, which other young women devote to company and diversion; but, as her studies were not superintended by any person of taste, she had indulged her own fancy without method or propriety. The Spectator taught her to be a critic and philosopher; from plays she learned poetry and wit; and derived her knowledge of life from books of history and adventures. Fraught with these acquisitions, and furnished by nature with

CHAPTER LIV.

His eclipse and gradual declination.

MISFORTUNES seldom come single: upon the back of this hue and cry, he unluckily prescribed phlebotomy to a gentleman of some rank, who chanced to expire during the operation: and quarrelled with his landlord the apothecary, who charged him with having forgot the good offices he had done him in the beginning of his career, and desired he would provide himself with another lodging.

now increased in proportion to the decrease of business; for, as he had more idle time, and was less admitted into private families, so he thought he had more occasion to enlarge his acquaintance among his own sex, who alone were able to support him in his disgrace with the other. He accordingly listed himself in several clubs, and endeavoured to monopolize the venereal branch of trade; though this was but an indifferent resource; for almost all his patients of this class were such as either could not, or would not, properly recompense the physician.

For some time he lingered in this situation, without going upwards or downwards, floating like a wisp of straw at the turning of the tide, until he could no longer amuse the person of whom he had hired his coach horses, or postpone the other demands which multiplied upon him every day. Then was his chariot overturned with a hideous crash, and his face so much wounded with the shivers of the glass, which went to pieces in the fall, that he appeared in the coffee-house with half a dozen black patches upon his countenance, gave a most circumstantial detail of the risk he had run, and declared, that he did not believe he should ever hazard himself again in any sort of wheel carriage.

All these mishaps, treading upon the heels of one another, had a very mortifying effect upon his practice. At every tea-table, his name was occasionally put to the torture, with that of the vile creature whom he had seduced; though it was generally taken for granted, by all those female casuists, that she must have made the first advances! for it could not be supposed that any man would take much trouble in laying schemes for the ruin of a person whose attractions were so slender, especially considering the ill state of her health, a circumstance that seldom adds to a woman's beauty or good humour: besides, she was always a pert minx, that Soon after this accident, he took an opporaffected singularity, and a masculine manner tunity of telling his friends, in the same pubof speaking; and many of them had foreseen | lic place, that he had turned away his footthat she would, some time or other, bring man on account of his drunkenness, and was herself into such a premunire. At all gossip-resolved, for the future, to keep none but pings where the apothecary or his wife as-maids in his service, because men-servants sisted, Fathom's pride, ingratitude, and mal- are generally impudent, lazy, debauched, or practice, were canvassed; in all clubs of dishonest; and, after all, neither so neat, married men, he was mentioned with marks handy, nor agreeable, as the other sex. In of abhorrence and detestation; and every the rear of this resolution, he shifted his medical coffee-house rung with his reproach. lodgings into a private court, being distracted Instances of his ignorance and presumption with the din of carriages, that disturb the inwere quoted, and many particulars feigned habitants who live towards the open street; for the purpose of defamation; so that our and gave his acquaintance to understand, hero was exactly in the situation of a horse- that he had a medical work upon the anvil, man, who, in riding at full speed for the which he could not finish without being inplate, is thrown from the saddle in the middle dulged in silence and tranquillity. In effect, of the race, and left without sense or motion he gradually put on the exteriors of an author. upon the plain. His progress, though rapid, His watch, with an horizontal movement by had been so short, that he could not be sup- Graham, which he had often mentioned, and posed to have laid up store against such a shown as a very curious piece of workmanday of trouble; and as he still cherished ship, began, about this time, to be very much hopes of surmounting those obstacles which out of order, and was committed to the care had so suddenly started up in his way, he of a mender, who was in no hurry to restore would not resign his equipage, nor retrench it. His tie-wig degenerated into a major; his expenses; but appeared, as usual, in all public places, with that serenity and confidence of feature which he had never deposited, and maintained his external pomp upon the little he had reserved in the days of his prosperity, and the credit he had acquired by the punctuality of his former payments. Both these funds, however, failed in a very little time; his law-suit was a gulf that swallowed up all his ready money; and the Fathom, finding himself descending the glcanings of his practice were scarce suffi- hill of fortune with an acquired gravitation, cient to answer his pocket cap, which | strove to catch at every twig, in order to

he sometimes appeared without a sword; and was even observed in public with a second day's shirt: at least his clothes became rusty; and, when he walked about the streets, his head turned round in a surprising manner, by an involuntary motion in his neck, which he had contracted by a habit of reconnoitring the ground, that he might avoid all dangerous or disagreeable encounters.