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schools of surgery to the practitioner who may happen to look on ?—What are Society, and Solitude, but, each, an alternate hidingplace from the persecutions of the other?Libraries!-What are they but the sepulchres of gaiety, or conservatories for the seedlings of disease?—What are Watering Places, but wholesale warehouses for the sale of ennui, and the hire of accommodations for drowning? What is Fashionable Life, but a system of intolerable trouble, in pursuit of the reputation of perfect ease?—Nay, to descend still lower, what are the indispensable processes of Eating and Drinking, but practical lectures on the art of spoiling food? or what even the familiar operations of Dressing and Undressing, but stinging remembrancers of the privileged nakedness of the savage?—Which, now, my friend, is " the worse," and which "the better reason?"

Test. Bravo! bravo! Sensitive-I see the hopes of our enemies already in the dust!Yes, yes; it is plain enough that when the trial comes on, I may safely leave you to flourish, while I fume;-I must beg, though, Mr Orator, that when the trial does come on, you won't take up the whole of your argument

with spirit, fibre, and feeling; but make a little room for honest matter; and do the senses, limbs, and other coarse materials of humanity, the honour of paying them a little flattering attention;-as, indeed, I am glad to observe that you have done, in your grand survey just finished. So much, then, for generals: as to particulars, we shall find no great difficulty in gathering, and sorting our single specimens:-O yes! a store-house of "Miseries,” or a chest of “ Groans,” might be soon filled, and.........

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Sen. Admirably imagined! Mr Testy; your idea had entirely escaped me, and I embrace it with both my arms. We shall not have far to ramble, as you say, in botanizing for weeds, nettles, and thistles; let us, from this time, pursue the search; and at our next meeting, compare, and house, the first produce of our heavy harvest.

Tes. With all my heart; and the more so, as our pursuit may be carried on (to use the words of those rascals the quack-doctors, who by this very bait, by the bye, have tickled me out of a good constitution)" without loss of time, or hindrance of business;" for we have only to drudge on in our common course,

with our minds, and our eyes open, as we walk or ride along, and the main business will take care of itself.

Sen. Well, then, Mr Testy, only one thing more:-as the "lucidus ordo" is confessedly of essential advantage, in every investigation, allow me to suggest what appears to me the properest method of proceeding; viz. that at every subsequent interview, from this time till we have completed our undertaking, we should bring forward some one general head of wretchedness, for separate discussion; producing, respectively, such items of anguish, only, as may be reducible to that specific class of "Miseries."-We are, now, unfortunately for us both-and yet where should we have been more fortunate?-We are now, I say, in the Country;-be the country, then, the scene of our first pilgrimage; and let Rural tortures, if you see no objection, have the pre-eminence at our next unhappy meeting.

Tes. They shall, Sir, they shall; and no fear of missing them, I'll engage :-for my own part, I have some pestilent affairs upon my hands, that will bury me in the country a long time; and, I doubt not, "Miseries" of

all sorts and sizes will turn up as plentifully as the dust, or mire, under my feet.

And so, having now pretty well settled all our preliminaries,............. I was going to say, farewell;-but that would have been, in some sort, "against the canon laws of our foundation," you know.

Sen. Alas, it would!-and on the same cruel account, I will sink the insulting ceremony of wishing you-a good morning. Let me rather say,

Go; count thy way with sighs,---I mine with GROANS." Shak.

Tes. Aye, it may pass well enough as a quotation; otherwise, by rights, you should have taken the sighs, and given me the groans.And so, your humble servant.-(Goes and returns) Ho! Sensitive! Sensitive! You know my addled-head :-one thing I forgot ;if we are to meet upon this new scheme of ours, there is a third person who must positively be of the party; or else, we must be "off by consent." You must know that I have just called away my lubberly boy Ned from Eton, at an hour's notice, though he had but another month to stay, as it was. For

what do you think?-Old Busby, there, (I forget the fellow's right name—the head pedagogue, however-) has thought proper to tell me that my boy is half mad! though, for all I can see, the whole offence is that he is a little wild, or so, in his way of reading; and, by running from one book to another, and dashing from this part of the volume to that, has stuffed his head with more words than he knows well how to manage; and so, by dint of a good memory, without quite brains enough to ballast it, he flirts out his crude scraps of authors upon all occasions, without stopping to consider how they apply, where he is, or who are his hearers.

Sen. A singular propensity, it must be owned.

Tes. Yes, but singularity is not madness, I hope, or I should be in the same scrape, myself; for, as to his quoting fits, he drew them from me, I believe; I have had them upon me, off and on, ever since I was thus high; and Ned, the impudent dog, dares to tell me that he brings in his Parallels, as he calls them, as much to the purpose as I do. Be this as it may, I wink at his cacoethes quotandi; but, to cure him of a few other wild tricks,

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