2. (S.)

A dinner of roast-meat indefatigably prophesied in your ear the whole morning long, by the piteous moans of a jack; at the same time that the fluctuations of a stormy day are no less faithfully reported to you by a neighbouring Sign, swinging and squeaking, by fits, in the wind-illness closely confining you to the house, and thereby securing your attention, during the whole performance of this diabolical duetto.

Tes. As to the "swinging sign," Virgil seems to have drawn the same use from it that you have:

" ventos

ut certis possimus discere signis."

3. (T.)

After having been very hungry all the morning, finding, as you sit down to an excellent dinner, that your appetite has secretly decamped.-Or,

4. (T.)

On entering the dining-room, half-famished, with the fullest expectations of seeing the dinner on the table-not even the cloth laid.

5. (S.)

Sitting down, with a keen appetite, to a beefsteak, (and nothing else,) which proves to be completely charked by over-dressing.

Tes. Confound 'em!-none of them ever attend to Macbeth's receipt for dressing a beef-steak, though by much the best that ever was given.

Sen. How!

Tes. Why,

-“when 'tis done, 'twere well

If 'twere done quickly."

6. (T.)

In a college-hall-sitting at dinner on a bench nailed to the floor, and this at such a distance from the table, (nailed down also,) that you all feed in the position of a set of rowers, just beginning their stroke.

7. (S.)

Slicing at a large round of beef, (near which your Evil Genius has seated you) with a very shortbladed knife, so as inevitably to grease its handle, your fingers, and the cuff of your coat; -the

company, as if in a plot to drive you out of your senses, scarcely tasting of any thing else.

Ned Tes. O, a long knife for a large joint, by all means; both for nicety's sake, and because, as Horace well observes,

"Fortius et melius magnas plerumque SECAT res."

8. (S.)

After forwardly offering your services in cutting up a goose, or a hare-being obliged to make a practical confession, before twenty watchful witnesses, that you have no genius for carving.

9. (T.)

Diving at a bone with a marrow-spoon so large that it sticks at the middle of the bowl:-then, on trying, in despair, with a fork, bringing up two or three globules of yellow fat.

This constantly happens to us, Mrs Testy, as you very well know-however you manage it. Ned Tes. (with a start)

Avaunt!-thy bones are marrowless ! MACB.

10. (S.)

Attempting to cut and help out cauliflower, or asparagus, with a spoon :-the fate of the cargo, (which you had neglected to insure,) is well known-ditto as to jelly, which instantly bids adieu to the spoon, and quivers like quicksilver about the cloth.

11. (S.)

The spinning plate :-there is but one, and you always have it.

12. (T.)

Missing the way to your mouth, and drowning your breast in a bath of beer.

13. (T.)

The moment in which you discover that you have taken in a mouthful of fat, by mistake for turnip.

14. (S.)

Detecting an human hair in your mouth, which, as you slowly draw it forth, seems to lengthen ad infinitum.

15. (S.)

A strong tang of tallow, or onion, on your bread

you

and butter, at a house where decorum forbids either to splutter or sputter.

Tes. Nay, nay-if a man may'nt " quarrel with his bread and butter" in this case, I don't know when he may!-For my own part, whenever mine is flavoured in this way, I don't stop to think what house I'm in, I can tell you.

Long after

16. (S.)

you have finished your own temperate meal, seeing the sixth or eighth plate of turtle, venison, &c. conveyed into a living Larder immediately opposite to you.

17. (S.)

Grinding on upon tough sinewy meat with supposititious teeth.

18. (T.)

A stone lurking in your crust, which you crush with such violence as to drive out a tooth and an oath at once.

19. (T.)

Labouring at a piece of meat (brawn in particular) with a carving-knife so blunt, that it does