arriving at the slightest smattering in any of the infernal dialects in which their goods are uttered, and which they have palpably invented for the sole purpose of guarding against the smallest risk of being, by any accident, understood;-and thus is a new Misery struck out for you, from your own indignation at their distorted ingenuity in devising stratagems for their own ruin - which must obviously be the direct consequence of their unintelligibility. 2. (T.). After walking in a great hurry to a place, on very urgent business, by what you think a shorter cut, and supposing that you are just arriving at the door you want-" NO THOROUGHFARE!" Sen. Not to mention the Misery of turning back, splashing along, at full speed, and fighting your way through the crowd; and all this in order to go the longest way round, and be too late at last!-so that your whole count stands thus : ac Coetusque vulgares, et udam Spernit humuin fugiente" plantâ. Hor. 3. (S.) Stopping in the street, to address a person whom you know rather too well to pass him without speaking, and yet not quite well enough to have a word to say to him-he feeling himself in the same dilemma;-so that, after each has asked, and answered, the question "How do you do, Sir?" you stand silently face to face, apropos to nothing, during a minute; and then part in a transport of awkwardness. 4. (T.) Stumbling through London streets, in pumps, over hills of filthy snow, in the beginning of a great thaw, and occasionally passing over a wide, floated crossing, on a tottering plank, sociably accompanied by a hopping sweeper, who vociferously begs at you all the way, and keeps thrusting his greasy hat against your clothes:-no halfpenny. 5. (T.) As you are hastening down the Strand, on a matter of life and death, encountering, at an archway, the head of the first of twelve or fourteen horses, who, you know, must successively strain up with an over-loaded coal-waggon, before you can hope to stir an inch-unless you prefer bedevilling F 7 your white stockings, and clean shoes, by scampering and crawling, among, and under, coaches, scavengers' carts, &c. &c. in the middle of the street. 6. (S.) A bad Sunday in the city. 7. (S.) Walking half over London, side by side with a cart containing a million of iron bars, which you must out-bray, if you can; in order to make your companion hear a word you have further to say upon the subject you were earnestly discussing, before you were joined by this infernal article of commerce. Tes. Nay, I have a case of intrusion within doors, (and one too which we are every moment in danger of suffering where we now sit,) still worse than yours :— 8. (T.) While you are peaceably reading your paper at a coffee-house-two friends, perfect strangers to you, squatting themselves down at your right and left hand, and talking across you, for an hour, over their private concerns. 9. (S.) While on a short visit to London-the hurry and ferment-the crossing and jostling-the missing and marring—which incessantly happen among all your engagements, purposes, and promises, both of business and pleasure-at home and abroad-from morning till midnight;-obstacles equally perverse, unexpected, unaccountable, innumerable, and intolerable, springing up like mushrooms through every step of your progress. Then, (when you. are at last leaving London,) on asking yourself the question whether any thing has been neglected, or forgotten, receiving for answer-" Almost every thing!" 10. (S.) While walking with your charmer-meeting a drunken sailor, who, as he staggers by you, ejects his reserve of tobacco against the lady's drapery. Now is not this too much, Sir? Ned Tes. Yes, that's exactly what it is; and therefore you should have cried out, in time, "Ne QUID nigh miss!” 11. (T.) Walking briskly forwards, while you are looking backwards, and so advancing towards another passenger, (a scavenger,) who is doing the same; then meeting, with the shock of two battering-rams, which drives your whole stock of breath out of your body, with the groan of a paviour : ❝ ruinam Dant sonitu ingentem, perfractaque.... At length, during a mutual burst of execrations, you each move, for several minutes, from side to side, with the same motion, in vainly endeavouring to pass on. 12. (T.) In going out to dinner, (already too late,) your carriage delayed by a jam of coaches.... Ned Tes. Jam, jamque magis cunctantem! .... Tes. which choak up the whole street, and allow you at least an hour more than you require, to sharpen your wits for table-talk. "Breast against breast, with ruinous assault, |