rate, lived the laundresses of the Novitiate, whom we

never saw.

I have not mentioned servants' rooms, simply because there were no servants in the Novitiate. Every man in the Novitiate was a Jesuit, or to be one. The very cook was a Jesuit, commonly called a "lay brother:" that is to say, a man who took the simple vows of the society, and dedicated his trade or craft to the service of the society. His assistants were lay novices also. These men have, of course, more work than prayer; or, at least, quite as much of one as of the other. Thus, in the palmy days of the society, there were all manner of workmen belonging to the Jesuits; thus rendering it totally independent of the world at large: and thus, we can imagine what this wonderful combination of the trades, the sciences, the spiritualities of this nether world could effect in swaying the destinies of humanity. In those days when a Jesuit, proprement dit, went forth on his "mission," he was attended by his lay brother, who went with him in the two-fold capacity of a servant and a spy on his actions: for all are bound to keep a watch on their brethren as well as on themselves. If they "manifest themselves," they must "manifest their brothers."+

There are funds belonging to the Novitiate exclusively, resulting from pious bequests and donations; the novices, consequently-who are always considered

* Or by a socius in orders, Const. Part iii. cap. 1. Thus in NORWICH there are two-in LONDON, three, &c.

† Reg. 9 and 10. Can. 10, Congr. 6.

by the "Constitutions" as without friends, kindred, home, and wealth, except in the society-pay nothing for their board and lodging. On entering the gates of probation, the novice gives himself to the society, "for the greater glory of God ;" and the society undertakes to be his mother, father, brother, sister, friend, and only acquaintance.

True, a man cannot at once forget all these tender ties, unless by the hand of death they exist not; but the progress of this consummation is not the less certain for being gradual. I never heard during my year a word mentioned of "kith or kin." Of the undying thoughts that rise in spite of ourselves, I can, of course, say nothing with regard to others. I heard the voices coming from afar, like voices of a dream, and I frequently asked myself, "Can you all forswear humanity?" But the "spirit of Ignatius" whispered, "He who has left father," &c., let him believe that he must relinquish father, mother, brothers, and sisters, and whatever he had in the world: yea, let him believe that those words are addressed to himself" He who does not hate father and mother, and more, even his own soul, cannot be my disciple." Thus was the sacred text perverted, to countenance an unnatural dissevering of all the ties that the God of our common nature has woven together-a web which, hack and tear it as we will, still repairs and renews itself for ever!

* Exam. Gen. ch. iv. 7, a rule of the SUMMARY to be got by heart by the novices.

49

CHAPTER V.

THE RETREAT-DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS-THE INVESTMENT AND BLESSING.

I NOW resume my narrative where I left off, viz., with the commencement of the Retreat.

The first meditation was on the "End of Man," that is to say, on the object for which man was created. I dare say few of my readers have the least idea what is here meant by meditation. It is a difficult art. A man may be annoyed by disagreeable thoughts for days and weeks together; but in this case the mind is passive-thoughts impinge upon it like the excruciating drops of water falling on the head of the regicide of old, when every drop, as he remarked with unutterable anguish, felt like the blow of a mallet. This is meditation in spite of ourselves, and we would be glad of some "distraction" or change of thought. But ascetics understand a very different thing by meditation: the mind must be fixed and retained on one idea or sentiment, until it is completely exhausted in all its bearings and applications to the spiritual state of the meditator; and all change

E

of thought; commonly called "distraction," must be instantly checked as a wily temptation of the devil. In proof whereof we read in a book, recommended by the learned and pious pastors of the Romish church, and written by a Jesuit, as follows, speaking of this "distraction:"

"At other times it may proceed from the malice of the devil, as is stated by some of the Fathers of the desert, who, by God's permission, saw in spirit some devils sitting upon the heads of the religious, to oblige them to sleep; and others putting their fingers in their mouths to make them yawn.'

I had been accustomed to meditate from early youth. At the Roman Catholic college, where I was educated, the more advanced students had to meditate daily for the space of an hour before mass; and, during the annual retreat, meditation was an important part of the proceedings; but I never knew what meditation was or might be till I became a Novice. It is among the Jesuits that one must live in order to know the true nature of a religious retreat, and of meditation or mental prayer. This is considered the highest order of prayer, the most acceptable to God; for it is supposed to bring the fervent soul into the immediate presence of the Divinity, when, by the enlightening of that grace which descends on the compunctious spirit, we behold ourselves as we are-all our wants, all our imperfections, all our stains and spiritual wounds. "Happy is the man," says the master of ascetics, * Rodrig. Christ. Perf. chap. xxiv.

"who can reject every distracting thought, and can centre himself completely in a holy compunction !"

I will endeavour to give the reader an idea of the method, by the following meditation on the Last Judgment.

As I have forgotten none of the strong thoughts— none of the stirring emotions of my Novitiate, the exposition will be as easy as it is authentic.

JUDGMENT.

"But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light.

"And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken.

"And then shall they see the Son of Man coming in the clouds with great power and glory."

POINT I. I began by impressing my mind with the certainty of the coming event, and made thereon a firm, fervent act of faith. I reasoned with my soul on the necessity of that judgment. Throughout all time the good have been oppressed, afflicted, scorned by the judgment of men; that judgment must be reversed. God himself will right them on that awful day. They have sighed in bitterness of heart: "0 Lord, my God, in thee do I put my trust save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me: Lest he tear my soul like a lion, rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver.

"O Lord my God, if I have done this: if there be iniquity in my hands: If I have rewarded evil unto