That will allow to tyrannize upon them!
Or use them under their command, so ill,
To force them without reason, to their will!
For who hath read in all the Sacred Writ,
Of any one compelled to marriage, yet?
Or father so unkind, thereto required,
Denied his child the match that he desired;
So that he found the laws did not forbid it?
I think, those gentler Ages, no man did it!
In those days therefore, for them to have been
Contracted without license, had been sin!
Since there was more good nature among men,
And every one more truly loving then.
But now, although we stand obliged still
To labour for their liking and good will;
There is no Duty, whereby they may tie us
From aught, which, without reason, they deny us.
For I do think, it is not only meant
Children should ask; but parents should consent!
And that they err, their duty as much breaking
For not consenting, as we for not speaking.
It is no marvel, many matches be
Concluded, now, without their privity;
Since they, through greedy avarice misled,
Their interest in that have forfeited.
For these, respectless of all care, do marry
Hot youthful May to cold old January:
Those for some greedy end, do basely tie
The sweetest Fair to foul Deformity;
Forcing a love, from where 'twas placed late,
To re-ingraff it, where it turns to hate.
It seems no cause of hindrance in their eyes,
Though manners, nor affections sympathise!
And two religions, by their rules of State,
They may in one-made body tolerate !
As if they did desire that double stem
Should fruitful bear but Neuters, like to them!
Alas, how many numbers of both kinds
By that, have ever discontented minds!
And live, though seeming unto others well,
In the next torments unto those of hell!
How many desperate grown by this their sin;
Have both undone themselves and all their kin!
Many a one, we see, it makes to fall
With the too-late repenting Prodigal.
Thousands, though else by Nature gentler given,
To act the horridst murders, oft, are driven !
And which is worse, there's many a careless elf,
(Unless Heaven pity!) kills and damns himself!
O what hard heart, or what unpitying eyes,
Could hold from tears, to see those tragedies,
Parents (by their neglect in this) have hurled
Upon the Stage of this respectless world!
'Tis not one man, one family, one kin;
No, nor one country that hath ruined been
By such their folly: which the cause hath proved
That Foreign oft, and Civil Wars were moved.
By such beginnings, many a city lies
Now in the dust, whose turrets braved the skies;
And divers monarchs, by such fortunes crossed,
Have seen their kingdoms fired, and spoiled, and lost.
Yet all this while, thou seest! I mention not
The ruin, shame, that Chastity hath got!
For 'tis a task too infinite to tell
How many thousands, that would have done well,
Do, by the means of this, suffer desires
To kindle in their hearts, unlawful fires.
Nay, some in whose cold breast ne'er flame had been,
Have, only for mere vengeance, fallen to sin!
Myself have seen (and my heart bled to see 't)
A witless clown enjoy a match unmeet.
She was a Lass, that had a look to move
The heart of cold DIOGENES to love!
Her eye was such, whose every glance did know
To kindle flames upon the hills of snow;
And by her powerful piercings could imprint,
Or sparkle fire into a heart of flint!
And yet (unless I much deceived be)
In very thought, did hate immodesty !
And, had she enjoyed the man she could have loved,
Might, to this day, have lived unreproved!
But being forced, preforce, by seeming friends:
With her consent; she, her contentment ends!
In that compelled, herself to him she gave;
Whose bed, she rather could have wished her grave!
And since, I hear (what I much fear is true!)
That "she hath bidden Shame and Fame, adieu !"
Such are the causes, now, that parents quite
Are put beside much of their ancient right.
The fear of this, makes children to withhold
From giving them those dues which else they would.
And those, thou seest! are the too fruitful ills,
Which daily spring from their unbridled wills;
Yet they, forsooth, will have it understood,
That all their study is their children's good!
A seeming love shall cover all they do,
When (if the matter were well looked into)
Their careful reach is chiefly to fulfil
Their own foul, greedy, and insatiate will!
Who, quite forgetting they were ever young,
Would have their children doat, with them, on dung! Grant, betwixt two, there be True Love, Content; Birth not mis-seeming, Wealth sufficient,
Equality in years, an honest Fame,
In every side the person without blame;
And they obedient too: what can you gather
Of love or of affection in that father,
That, but a little to augment his treasure,
(Perhaps, no more but only for his pleasure!)
Shall force his child to one he doth abhor?
From her he loves and justly seeketh for:
Compelling him (for such misfortune grieveth!)
To die with care, that might, with joy have lived!
This, you may say is Love: and swear as well
There are pains in Heaven, and delights in Hell!
Or that the Devil's fury and austerity,
Proceeds out of his care of our prosperity!
Would parents, in this Age, have us begin
To take, by their eyes, our affections in?
Or do they think, we bear them in our fist!
That we may still remove them, as they list?
It is impossible it should be thus!
For we are ruled by Love, not Love by us!
And so our power so much ne'er reacheth to,
To know where we shall love, until we do!
And when it comes, hide it awhile we may !
But 'tis not in our strengths to drive 't away!
Either mine own eye should my Chooser be,
Or I would ne'er wear HYMEN'S livery!
For who is he, so near my heart doth rest,
To know what 'tis that mine approveth best?
I have myself beheld those men, whose frame
And outward personages had nought of blame,
They had (what might their good proportion grace!)
The much more moving part, a comely face!
With many of those complements, which we,
In common men of the best breeding see.
They had discourse and wit enough to carry
Themselves in fashion, at an Ordinary.
Gallants they were, loved company and sport,
Wore favours, and had mistresses at Court!
And, every way, were such as they might seem ;
Worthy of note, respect, and much esteem.
Yet hath my eye more cause of liking seen,
Where nought perhaps by some hath noted been;
And I have there found more content, by far!
Where some of these perfections wanting are.
Yea, so much, that their beauties were a blot
To them, methought! because he had them not.
There some peculiar thing innated is,
That bears an uncontrolled sway in this!
And nothing but itself knows how to fit
The mind with that which best shall suit with it!
Then why should parents thrust themselves into
What, they want warrant for, and power to do?
How is it they are so forgetful grown,
Of those conditions, that were once their own?
Do they so doat, midst their wit's perfection,
To think that Age and Youth hath like affection;
When they do see, 'mong those of equal years,
One hateth what another most endears?
Or do they think their wisdoms can invent
A thing to give, that's greater than Content?
No, neither shall they wrap us in such blindness,
To make us think, the spite they do, a kindness!
For as I would advise no child to stray
From the least duty that he ought to pay;
So would I also have him wisely know
How much that duty is! that he doth owe:
That knowing what doth, unto both belong;
He may do them, their right! himself, no wrong
For if my parents, him I loathe, should choose,
'Tis lawful! yea, my duty, to refuse !
Else how shall I lead so upright a life
As is enjoined to the Man and Wife?
Since that we see, sometimes there are repentings
E'en where there are the most and best contentings!
What though that by our parents, first we live;
Is not Life misery enough to give!
Which at their births, the children doth undo,
Unless they add some other mischief too?
'Cause they gave Being to this flesh of our,
Must we be therefore slaves unto their power?
We ne'er desired it! For how could we tell,
Not Being, but that Not to Be was well!
Nor know they whom they profit by it, seeing
Happy were some if they had had no being!
Indeed, had they produced us without sin;
Had all our duty, to have pleased them been;
Of the next life, could they assure the state:
And both beget us, and regenerate!
There were no reason then, we should withstand
To undergo their tyrannous command!
In hope that, either for our hard endurance,
We should, at last, have comfort in assurance:
Or if, in our endeavours, we mis-sped
At least feel nothing, when we should be dead!
But what's the reason for 't, that we shall be
Enthralled so much unto mortality?
Our souls on will of any men, to tie
Unto an everlasting misery?
So far, perhaps so, from the good of either:
We ruin them, ourselves, and all together!
Children owe much, I must confess 'tis true!
And a great debt is to the parents due.
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