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1824.

the most delightful of autumnal morn-
ings. It was directed toward Mecca,
and it spoke of Universal Allah, and
of prayer! Unfortunately this last re-
flection (when a man begins to reflect,
there is no knowing where it will end)
suggested another-I had begun to
think of writing about my travels, and
this made all farther expostulations
with sleep useless; for, except a bad
conscience, nothing is so fatal to that
best gift of the gods, as projected or
progressive authorship. What would
not one sometimes give, during these
unwelcome vigils, for a candle and a
pencil? In the morning, either the
thought is gone, or the curiosa felici-
tas of expression, in which you had
finally embalmed it, cannot be recover-
ed! That the author, whether of books
or mischief, can contrive to sleep at all,
is indeed a marvel! "L'auteur de tant
de maux connoit donc le sommeil ?"
Gentle reader, read Mots-meo pericu-
lo, as Bentley says.

The first morning of one's return
φίλην ες πατρίδα γαιαν, has plenty of
occupation-Lodgings to be procured,
a matter of very grave consideration,
and not always, where so many pug-
nantia secum points are to be reconciled,
of very facile accomplishment-per
varios casus, tendemus in Latium-
quarters at once genteel, quiet, airy,
cheerful, sunny, economical; not too
near one's tailor, (you have perhaps
just stumbled on his last year's bill,
with all its array of blue coats no long-
er in existence :) hic labor, hoc opus
est! The night coaches and mails were
now trundling in, and the morning ones
rattling out; (I like to avail myself of
improvements in language.) Those
vast cinerary urns, the dust-carts,
equipped with bell, basket, and ladder,
and huge as the soros of an Egyptian
king, were collecting their morning of-
ferings of dust, and ashes, and other
penitential exuvia; all sufficient inti-
mations, that, for a man who had his
lodgings to seek, it was not quite time

to rise.

I hate bells: I hate all bells whatever, except sheep-bells; even muffin-bells find no favour in my sight; and I therefore hold in particular abhorrence that consecrated barbarian, Urbanus VIII., who, not content with the spoliation of the Pantheon of all the bronze of Agrippa, as a sort of ultra-barbarism, caused it to be made into what he calls " tympana." How glad I am, therefore,

sacra

that in the order and economy of hu-
man affairs, my visit to Rome was
postponed till those horrid fellows, the
Corybantes, (who used to run about
clashing cymbals, and making other
hideous noises,) were as dead as Con-
stantine. Indeed, I hate noise of all
kinds, where the elements of it can be
distinguished; where these are blend-
ed into one grand and imposing com-
position-one magnificent diapason-
as in the great streets of London or
Naples, one's ear drinks in the har-
mony of the great wave of sound with
a pleasure analogous to that which the
eye derives from examining compli-
cated machinery, or even from the
sight of multitudes going we know
not whither, and coming we care not
whence. But, in the small quiet streets
and squares, where the vocal and in-
strumental parts are directed by the
very demon of discord; where tracheas
of both sexes, and of all calibres, sus-
tain themselves contentiously among
bells, bagpipes, ballad-singers, barrel-
organs, clarionets, cod-fish, cabbages,
and cat's meat-to say nothing of the
rumbling of carts, the rattling of
coaches, the jingling of hoops, and the
barking of curs, which are merely ac-
companiments-why the man that is
not moved by this concord of sweet
sounds, is well deserving of the ana-
thema of Shakespeare. How thank-
fully does one hear the emphatic
double knock of the postman at 12
o'clock, which usually disperses these
"diversa monstra ferarum" for the
day.

Where is the book, in these
degenerate times, so amusing, or the
occupation so interesting, as to sus-
pend the acute sense of them? The
Greeks and Persians, you recollect, were
so hard at it, as to lose the agrement of
the earthquake that happened during
the battle of-I forget which-the story
is known. See Herodotus. It is, Scot-
tish reader, or Irish, allow me to inform
you, that it is of no use to quit your
lodgings, for these Eumenides stick
to your flanks as they did to Orestes;
omnibus umbra locis adero; dabis, im-
probe, pænas;-of no use to pay or per-
suade creatures alike inexorable and
incorruptible. The only palliative that
I know is, to read a canto of the Gieru-
salemme aloud, or a long passage of the
Eneid, in your softest and mellowest
tone; (this expedient used to compose
Burke when he was ruffled.) Above all
things, beware of fiddling or fluting in

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opposition or despite of them, unless you mean to convert a simple headache into a legitimate delirium.

I had returned in the pleasing hope that the course of nature had probably removed many of my persecutors to the stars, and that in all likelihood the vocal organs of several of the more distinguished, had been pour encourager les autres,t long since cleverly suspended in spirits, by the lovers of comparative anatomy, gentlemen who are indefatigable in getting possession, per fas atque nefas, of any favourite morsel of your mortal spoils. Alas! I am now convinced that they never die! The same cadence, the acute dagger-like scream from the top of the wind-pipe, (for the wretches literally" speak daggers") all as audible as ever. The parental howl, growl, screech, bawl, yell, or whine, (if the sire really be mortal, which I doubt), must be taught with uncommon diligence to the young Arcadians, for I did not escape a single agony, or find a single cord of catgut, "vocal no more." To whatever precautions of the parties themselves, or to whatever beneficent provisions of nature it may be owing,

"Uno avulso non deficit alter Aureus, similique, frondescit virga metallo.” A blind man in particular lives for ever; of that there can be no doubt. A blind man, did I say? every blind man that I recollect when I was a boy at school, or his adwλov, continues to cross me now, an interval quite sufficient to constitute what the Italians call un pezzo; or, Madam, if your curiosity is still more importunate, I am exactly as old as Horace was when he wrote his 13th Satire

“Me quater undenos scias implevisse

"Decembres."

There is, for instance, the man who sells boot laces, and enjoys as flourishing a commerce of leathern thongs as if he had lived among the wvxvides Axo, or the modern Albanians, (as I

sincerely wish he had)-you still hear the tap of his protruded stick on the pavement for half a league before he arrives! Then there is the Corydon, whose clarionet has been persecuting "Nanny" to "gang wi' him," to my knowledge for these ten years; but she remains, it seems, as attached to London, as inexorable as ever, as indifferent to his sufferings-and mine. I used to wonder that another of my blind friends, who delighted to make an eclat of his unjustifiable passion for "Roy's Wife," was not put down by the Society for the Suppression of Vice, (Oh! that there was one for the suppression of noise!) as an inimical person; he has happily disappeared, so that perhaps my conjecture is verified, or a reconciliation has been effected between the parties, and Roy has obtained a proper compensation for his injuries in the civil and ecclesiastical courts. In the nonage of my experience, and the immaturity of my taste, I used to be scandalized, also, at several of these peripatetics, who called upon you in strains, as I foolishly thought, quite destructive of the emotion, to "pity the poor blind," or talked of their "precious sight," with appropriate gestures, and an adequate exhibition of white eyeballs. I am now convinced that the ostentation of misery is altogether of classical and heroic origin. Philoctetes utters more "O mes !" about his sore foot, than a patient at St George's:-and Edipus exposes his bodily ails and misfortunes in a strain of very edifying pathos. I trust nothing, therefore, will ever be attempted in preventing these good people from going at large, on account not less of these pleasing souvenirs, than of the positive advantage derived from their undisputed possession of the pavement. All gives way before them. I have seen one of them penetrate the phalanx of Jews and Gentiles, coachmen and cads, at the White Horse Cellar, with as much ease as the Telamonian Ajax would have cleft a column of Trojans, with

When Candid arrived at Portsmouth, he saw an officer of distinction (poor Byng) with his eyes bandaged-" qu'on alloit fusiller avec beaucoup de ceremonie pour encourager les autres."

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Hector at their head, and have occasionally taken sly advantage of the circumstance, and followed in the rear; so that I am bound to say,

"Stet fortuna domus et avi numerentur

avorum."

And yet how often, when I lodged at the shoemaker's, on the sunny or plebeian side of Berkeley-square, have I been obliged to endure the " crescente," or "diminuente" of " many, a winding bout of linked sweetness,' always executed on the long side of that pleasant parallelogram! Although, as I was inducted into a great deal of local knowledge while I dwelt in that situation, I should be rather grateful than otherwise. It was there that I began to attend to the harmony and expressiveness of the various knockings or pulsations of which a street-door is susceptible. I shall say a word or two on this subject, as there are no knockers across the Channel. "Quanquam animus meminisse horret -incipiam."-These instruments, like mortars, are made of bronze or cast iron; and as they are of various calibres, they can, of course, project sound to various distances. A discharge of this kind in Grosvenor-square, when the wind is favourable, will frequent ly startle the deer in the Park, ruffle the water of the Serpentine, and vibrate in the alcoves of Kensington.t

I also conceive that there is already room, even in the present imperfect "state of the science," for distinguishing the different kinds of performance on this instrument, by an adequate nomenclature.

I would divide knocks, for the present, into, 1. Hesitating or submissive. These are usually performed by thin pale-looking persons with folded papers in their hands.-" Could I speak for a moment to the lady?" 2. Importunate or expostulating, performed by tradesmen.-" Did you tell Mr A. I called twice last week? When will he be at home?" 3. Confident or friendly." Well, John, is your master at home?" 4. Alarming or

fashionable. These are preceded by the short sharp stop of a carriage, generally of the barouche kind, and are followed by the sound of many feet in kid slippers on the staircase. Of single knocks I say nothing-ex uno disce omnes-there is no eloquence in them. The postman and the taxgatherer's knock of office, expresses the impatience of authority very intelligibly; and the knock domestic, your own knock, makes everybody I hope glad, and stirs up the spaniel from the hearth-rug. I have not leisure to notice the interesting association of bells and knockers into one compound instrument of considerably increased power, but at some future time I may probably favour the world with a small volume, entitled, " Tuptologia" (Keraunologia would be better still), with plates of the various kinds of knockers, and directions for their use. In fashionable streets, (sit obiter dictum,) the knockers ought to be of silver, the only objection to which is, that (notwithstanding the marvellous effects of education) they would occasionally be stolen.

I subjoin the following Table, in which I have availed myself of the language of science, to shew merely of what nicety the subject is susceptible.

Synopsis των Κρουσίων. 1. Hypocrousis.-A modest timid inaudible knock.

2. Monocrousis.-The plain single knock of a tradesman coming for orders.

3. Dicrousis. The postman and taxgather.

4. Tricrousis. The attempt of the same tradesman to express his impatience, and compel payment of his bill; he will not submit to the single knock any longer, and dares not venture on the following.

5. Tetracrousis.-Your own knock; my own knock; a gentleman's knock.

6. Pollacrousis, or Keraunos.—A succession of repeated impulses of different degrees of force, ending in three

The classical reader ought not to be incredulous; he recollects the blast of Alecto was heard at Narni.

Why should not VOL. XV.

Audiit et Triviæ longe lacus, audiit amnis
Sulfurea Nar albus aqua, fontesque Velini.
"Thy springs, Velinus, caught the sound afar,
And Trivia's distant lake, and livid Nar."
the Serpentine have as good ears as the Nar?

N

or four of alarming emphasis-vulgo a footman's knock, a thundering knock, &c. &c. &c.

In order to complete the little sketch that I proposed to give of the impressions which a return to London makes upon the senses, I now add a few miscellaneous remarks.

The climate and atmosphere of London is not only extremely salutary and contributive to the longevity of blind men, and other mendicants, but it is astonishingly favourable to that of fish, which, however deprived of their natural element, remain alive for a very considerable time. Cod, soles, and flounders, in London, are always "alive!" and living sprats are vended in myriads! The tenacity of life of some of these animals is so obstinate, that there is reason to believe they continue to live for several days together. It might be interesting to mark the tail of a particular individual, in order to learn how long he continues in this state of disagree able existence. Salmon and herring, I observe, are only announced as being fresh, that is, recently dead. I looked out of my window one day on a basket of lobsters, which the proprietor declared to be alive; a peculiar species, I presume, for they were of that fine coral colour which this animal usually assumes when boiled.

In the early spring, among many little elegant local customs, this is one: That as you take a morning walk in the green park, you meet several young women, who extend a bunch of matches to the immediate vicinity of your nose, with as much confidence as if they were primroses. These flowers of Brimstone are the first vernal productions of the Flora Londinensis ; they are not presented quite in so winning a way as the violets, that are thrown at you in the palais royal; but I have no doubt, that the bouquet, on the whole, is a wholseome one, and very probably useful as a prophylactic. To persons of classical mind, this offering of matches," Sulfura cum

tædis," will suggest the Lustrations of the ancients; though to others, of an irritable fibre, or uneasy conscience, I should be apprehensive that it might excite disagreeable reflections. Vide Giovanni, scene last. The usual impediments to accelerate motion continue, I find, to occur in various parts of the town. At the corner of Durham Street, on a rainy day, I think I may promise you a pause of about ten minutes, (which, if you don't employ in some profitable manner-as the pickpockets do-it is your own fault,) under a Testudo of wet silk and gingham, after the fashion of that plexus of shields, under which, to say nothing of the ancient warfare, Il pio Goddofredo got possession of Jerusalem.*

Often, too, when you are most in a hurry, you will attend the passage of the same procession (a train of coal waggons, six in number, with six horses each!) in long diagonal from the end of the Haymarket, to Marybone Street, cutting off parties of light and heavy armed, impetuously facing each other. These at Weeks's museum, and Those at Eggs' the gun-makers-I have seen a great many manœuvres practised on those occasions, but the coal waggons have always the best of it.

Such are the Trivial hinderances to the pedestrian in London. On such an ample theme it is difficult to desist; but troppo e troppo; I shall just run over the heads of my notes, and have done. Walk into the city more pleasant than formerly-pavements wider, especially about Colnaghi's-houses down-more coming-(multa cecidere cadentque) whole of city more healthy than formerly-ruddy nurserymaids (id genus omne interesting) and fine children-young cockneys grow taller-College of Physicians, removal of-how connected with foregoing remarks-cause or consequence ?-interesting question, but delicate-Bakers great admirers of the fine arts, stand at print shops-position of their Basket on those occasions-thrown on the back like the clypeus of a hero in re

• Giunsersi tutti seco a questo detto
Tutti gli scudi alzar sovra la testa
E gli uniron cosi, che ferreo tetto
Facean contra l'orribile tempesta :
E la soda Testuggine sostiene
Cio che di ruinoso in giu ne viene.

GIENUSAL. c. 18.

pose advantage to passers by from ings in safety, without these pitiful that attitude-especially with black imitations.) coats-Lamp-lighters-alarm occa- In one respect, and with this I con

sioned by their thuribulum-benevolent provision for cats and dogs-barrows containing ditto on the pavement -provocative of appetite-Jews ready to strip you to the skin, or clothe you at any price or cram your pockets with open pen-knives and oranges (bad neighbours) on your own terms. White horse cellar, enlevement of young women (struggling in vain, to go to Fulham,) to Hammersmith or Brentford.

I hope I have now said enough, to put you in decent humour with the narrow, unparallel, misleading, greasy streets of Paris, with all the accessories of cabriolets, puddles, and pontoons, by day, and the parade of sentinels and gend'armes by night, the "mille pericula sava urbis," against which no carte de sureté will protect you. (By the way, old Gonsalvi set up that sort of thing at Rome last winter, together with a squad of saucy douaniers. Poor man! he might have been too happy to wear his red stock

clude, London has as yet unrivalled advantages. To persons who are curious to study the fates of heroes to the last, remembering that

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Modern English Ballads,

Endited by

Morgan ODoherty, LL.D.

No. I.

C. B.

[**** The Ensign was evidently much affected on the defeat of his countryman. It was remarked, that for some days after the event, he went to bed bare-footed, and rose fasting. But on the occasion of Spring's triumphant entry, he was peculiarly dejected, and refused to look at it, which called forth the following ballad. It will be often imitated by modern poets, both in Spain and Germany.

Pon te a tancard de brounstout, dexa la suipa de strongsuig
Melancholico Odorti, veras al galopin Tomspring, &c.

It bears a great resemblance to the bridal of Andalla, p. 129, in LockThurtell may, art's Spanish Ballads; and the succeeding one on poor more remotely, remind the sentimental reader of his "Lament for Celin," originally published in this Magazine.]

SPRING'S RETURN.

RISE up, rise up, my Morgan, lay the foaming tankard down,

Rise up, come to the window, and gize with all the town.

From gay shin-bone and cleaver hard the marrowy notes are flowing,

And the Jew's-harp's twang sings out slap-bang, 'twixt the cow-horn's lordly

blowing ;

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