used, that of Esquire is always to be omitted, on the principle that the greater contains the less. For the same reason, the title Mr. should never precede that of Esquire.* OF NOTES OF INVITATION. Notes of invitation, except where a great degree of familiarity is used, are generally written in the third person, and on paper of smaller size, called billet paper. The answers should also be written in the third person, and the same forms of expression should be used, as those employed in the invitation. A departure from the form seems like arrogance of superior knowledge of propriety; but where an expression is manifestly out of place, or improper, the writer of the reply is by no means bound to sacrifice his own sense of propriety to the carelessness or the ignorance of the one who addresses him. The same observations that were made with regard to the date of a letter addressed in the third person, apply also to * In the address on the outside of a letter, note, &c., when the residence of the person addressed is unknown, but it is known that he is an inhabitant of the town or city in which we write, the word "Present" is frequently introduced to supply the place of the residence. To the very Rev. Dr. A. B., Dean of Sir. To the Rev. Mr. Desk, or, To the Rev. John Desk. * The general address to clergymen is, Sir, and when written to, Reverena say, Magistrates, Barristers at Law, or Advocates, and Members of Parliament, viz. of the House of Commons (these last have M. P. after Esq.,) and all gentlemen in independent circumstances, are styled Esquire, and their wives Mrs." *It seems to be unsettled whether Mr. should be used after Reverend, or not. In my opinion (says Mr. Lennie) it should, because it gives a clergyman his own honerary title over and above the common one. May we not use the Rev. Mr. as well as the Rev. Dr. Besides, we do not always recollect whether his name is James, or John, &c. Mr., in such a case, would look better on the back of a letter than a long, ill-drawn dash, thus, The Rev. Desk. In short, Mr. is used by our best writers after Reverend, but not uniformly. The words To the, not being necessary on the back of a letter, are seldom used; but, in addressing it in the inside, left hand corner, at the bottom, they are generally used. notes of invitation. The date should be at the bottom of the note, and at the left hand. * Example 5th. FORM OF NOTES OF INVITATION, WITH THE REPLY. INVITATION FOR THE EVENING. Mrs. Smith+ requests the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Chapman's company on Thursday Eveg, the 5th inst. Beacon St. Example 6th. THE REPLY. Mr. and Mrs. Chapman accept with pleasure Mrs. Smith's invitation for Thursday Evening, the 5th inst.‡ Chestnut St. Feb. 12th. *When notes or letters are addressed to gentlemen of the same name, they should be addressed, "The Messrs.," or, "Messrs. ;" if to two single ladies, "The Misses," not the "Miss." Thus, "The Misses Smith, or, "The Misses Davies," not, "The Miss Smiths," nor "The Miss Davises." As the lady is generally considered the head of the tea- table, there seems to be a propriety in the invitation to tea, or the evening, coming from the lady of the house alone. Or, Mr. and Mrs Chapman regret that a previous engagement will ir Example 7th. INVITATION TO DINNER. Mr. Tyler requests the pleasure of the Hon. Mr. Otis company at dinner on Saturday next, at 5 o'clock. Bowdoin Square, Wednesday, 13th July. Mr. Otis accepts with pleasure Mr. Tyler's invitation to dinner on Saturday next, at 5 o'clock. Beacon Street, Thursday, 14th July. prive them of the pleasure of accepting Mrs. Smith's polite invitation for Thursday evening, the 5th inst. The address of a gentleman to a lady's invitation may be: Mr. Chapman has the honor of accepting, &c., or, regrets that a previous engagement will orevent his having the honor, &c. *The latest and most approved style of folding notes, is to enclose them in an envelope, in the manner explained in reference to official docu ments, in the note on page 188th. The envelopes, ready made, are fur nished by the stationer. If not enclosed, they generally have two folds only; and in directing them, the open part, or leaves, of the note should be on the left side. When enclosed, but one fold is necessary. With regard to the sealing of a letter, if a wafer is to be used, care should be taken that it be not made too moist, for, in that case, it will not receive a good impression from the seal; and, moreover, is apt to give the letter a soiled appearance. But they who are particular about these matters always use wax in preference to wafers. * FORMS OF CARDS. Under the head of epistolary correspondence, may also be embraced the different forms of ceremonious cards, designed for morning calls, nup tial ceremonies, &c. As these are all supposed to be written or dictated by the individual who uses them, no title conceded by courtesy alone should ever be seen on them. Even the prefix of Mr. on a gentleman's card, savors of arrogance, for the literal meaning of the prefix is "Master." But the case is different on the card of a lady, and the prefix Mrs. (although it means "Mistress") is to be used, in order to distinguish her name from that of her husband. The question may arise, whether the residence should be inserted on the card. To this question a decided affirmative reply is given, although it is known to be at variance with not unfrequent usage. The omission of the residence seems to imply the belief, that the individual is a person of such distinction, that the knowledge of the residence is a matter of notoriety, and needs not to be mentioned. Now, in all the courtesies of life, the individual speaking of himself, should speak modestly and with humility; and, however distinguished he may be, he should be guilty of no arrogance of distinction. The insertion of the residence, therefore, is to be recommended on this ground alone, to say nothing of the possibility of mistake, arising from the bearing of the same name by two different families or by two different individuals. In the cards of the young ladies of a family, the family name, with the Lord Chesterfield, having received a letter sealed with a wafer, is said to have expressed strong disapprobation, saying, "What does the fellow mean by sending me his own spittle!" It is related, also, of Lord Nelson, that, in the very midst of the battle of Copenhagen, when the work of carnage and destruction was the hottest around him, and he judged it expedient to propose a cessation of hostilities, a wafer being brought to him to seal his communication to the Danish authorities, he rejected it, directing the wax and a taper to be brought, saying, "What! shall I send my own spittle to the Crown Prince ?" In this latter case, however, policy might have been mingled with refinement; for a wafer seems to imply haste, and the sealing of his letter with a wafer would have implied a desire for a speedy cessation of hostilities, which would have been construed into a necessity of the same, and have rendered his enemies confident of success, and unwilling to accede to the proposal. The coolness and deliberation implied in the sealing with wax, concealed from his enemies the knowledge of the condition of his fleet, and disposed them to comply with his wishes. There is a kind of transparent glazed wafer very much in use at the present day; but even this seems to be obnoxious to the same objections, -it implies haste, which is inconsistent with the studied courtesies of polished life, and, moreover, involves the necessity of sending one's own t spittle." prefix of "Miss," is proper to be used without the "Christian name," by the eldest of the single daughters. The Christian names of the younger daughters should be inserted. To illustrate by an example, suppose a gentleman, by the name of Arthur S. Wellington, resides with his family, a wife, and three daughters, Caroline M., Catharine S., and Augusta P., in Tremont Street. His card should be: On the death, or marriage, of the eldest daughter, the second daughter becomes Miss Wellington,* &c. *On wedding cards, or cards preceding a wedding, there is considerable diversity of opinion, whether the name of both the gentleman and the lady should be inserted, or whether that of the lady alone should be expressed. A decided opinion is, however, expressed, that the name of the lady alone belongs on the card. She is to be the future mistress of the house; over its internal arrangements she alone has (or should have) any control, and to her alone also, all visits of ceremony are directed. The same reasons, therefore, which exclude the name of the husband from the notes of invi tation, seem to apply with equal force to the exclusion of the name of the future husband from the wedding cards. Thus, supposing that Mr. John Singleton and Miss Sarah Greenwood intend marriage, the wedding card should be expressed thus: Miss Sarah Greenwood, At home on Tuesday Eve'g, at 8 o'clock. |