66 485 regarding and concerning the achievements of Grial are pure fiction; and look upon the amours of Don Tristan and Queen Iseo, with those of Ginebra and Lancelot, as altogether apocryphal; though there are people who almost remember to have seen the duenna Quintanona, who was the best wine-skinker in Great Britain: this is so true, that I myself have heard my grandmother by my father's side often say, when she happened to see a duenna with a reverend biggen,** Grandson, there is a person very like the duenna Quintanona.' From whence I conclude, that she must either have known her personally, or, at least, seen some picture of that venerable matron; then who can deny the history of Peter of Provence, and the fair Magalona, since, to this day, may be seen, in the royal armoury, the very peg that turned the wooden horse upon which the valiant Peter travelled through the air; by the same token, that it is something larger than the pole of a coach, and stands near the saddle of Babieca: nay, at Roncevalles you may see Orlando's horn, as big as a weaver's beam? From all which circumstances we may justly infer, that the twelve peers, the Peters, the Cids, with all those who were called knights-errant, actually existed, according to the records of their fame; otherwise they may as well deny, that the valiant Portuguese, Juan de Merlo, was a knight-errant; though it is well known that he went to Burgundy, and fought in the city of Ras with the famous lord of Charne, called Monseigneur Pierre, and afterwards in the city of Basil with Monseigneur Henrique de Remestan, gaining the victory in each of these combats, with abundance of honourable fame: neither, I suppose, will they credit the defiance and adventures that were also achieved in Burgundy by those valiant Spaniards, Pedro, Barba, and Guttierre Quixada (from whom I am lineally descended on the father's side), who conquered the sons of the Count de St Paul: nay, let them likewise refuse to own that Don Fernando de Guevara went in quest of adventures into Germany, where he fought with Messire George, a knight of the household to the Duke of Austria; and say that the justs and tournaments of Suero de Quinones and the Pass were mere illusion, as well as the enterprises of Monseigneur Lewis de Falses, against Don Gonçalo de Guzman, a Cas- Of the sage contest between Don Quixote and the tilian knight, together with many other exploits performed by Christian warriors belonging to these and other foreign realms, so authentic and true, that (I repeat my asseveration), he who denies them is void of all reason and common sense.' The canon was struck with admiration, when he heard Don Quixote utter such a medley of fiction and truth; and perceiving that he was intimately acquainted with every circumstance CHAP. XXIII. Canon, with other events. A GOOD jest, truly! (replied Don Quixote), that books printed with the license of kings, and approbation of those who are appointed to examine them, read with universal delight, celebrated by great and small, rich and poor, knights and plebeians, the learned and illiterate; finally, by persons of all ranks and degrees whatever, should contain nothing but lies; not • Toca, which is the original word, signifies a woman's coif, veil, or handkerchief. withstanding the appearance of truth which they maintain, in mentioning the father; mother, country, relations, condition, birth-place; and in giving an exact journal of the exploits peculiar to every individual knight: cease, there fore, good sir, to vent such blasphemy, and be lieve that, in this particular, I advise you to act according to the dictates of good sense: read them again, and you will see what pleasure you will reap for your pains; for what can be more entertaining than to see, as it were before your eyes, a vast lake of boiling pitch, through which an infinite number of serpents, snakes, and alligators, with many other kinds of fierce and terrible creatures, are continually winding and writhing along; then to hear a most dismal voice, that seems to issue from the middle of this pitchy pool, pronounce, O knight, who soever thou art, that now standest gazing at the dreadful lake, if thou wouldst enjoy the bliss that is concealed beneath these sable waves, display the valour of thy dauntless breast, and dart thyself amidst these black and burning billows; otherwise thou art not worthy to be hold the mighty wonders deposited and contained within the seven castles of the seven nymphs that dwell below this sullen flood. Scarce had the sound of this dismal voice ceased to vibrate on his ear, when the knight, without the least hesitation, or reflecting upon the danger he incurs, nay, without putting off his heavy armour, but recommending himself to God and his mistress, plunges at once into the burning lake; and when he neither cares nor knows what will be his fate, finds himself in the midst of a delightful plain, by which the Elysian fields are infinitely excelled: there the heaven seems more transparent, and the sun shines with new lustre; the eye is entertained with an agreeable forest of tall and leafy trees, whose verdure delights the view, while the ear is regaled with the sweet and artless notes of an infinite number of little painted warblers that hop from bough to bough: here he perceives a brook, whose refreshing waters, clear as liquid crystal, run murmuring on the yellow sand and glistening pebbles, that emulate the purest pearls and heaps of sifted gold. In one place springs an artificial fountain adorned with variegated jasper and polished marble; in another rises a rustic grotto, in which the small shells of the muscle, and the white and yellow twisted domes of the snail, placed in beauteous disorder, and mixed with bits of shining crystal and counterfeit emeralds, -compose such an agreeable variety, that nature seems to be excelled by imitative art. In a third place, all of a sudden, appears a strong castle or magnificent palace, the walls of massy gold, the battlements of diamond, the gates of hyacinth, and finally, the workmanship so admirable, as infinitely to excel the materials, which are no less than adamant, carbuncles, rubies, pearls, emeralds, and gold. Nay, after having thus feasted his eyes, there still remains for him to see a fair bevy of damsels coming out at the castle-gate, dressed in such gay and splendid attire, that were I to describe it minutely, as it is represented in the history, I should never have done. Then she, who appears the principal, takes by the hand the undaunted knight who threw himself into the boiling lake, and silently leading him into the rich cas tle or palace, strips him as naked as he was when his mother bore him, and bathes him in water of an agreeable temperature, then anoints his whole body with aromatic essences, and puts upon him a shirt of the finest lawn, all scented and perfumed; then comes another damsel, and throws over his shoulders a mantle, which, at least, is usually valued at the price of a whole city, or more. After all this ceremony, what a sight it is, when, as they relate, he is conducted into another hall, in which a table is furnished with such elegance as to excite his admiration and suspense! when they sprinkle upon his hands water distilled from amber and odoriferous flowers! when he is seated upon a chair of ivory, and attended by all those damsels, who serve him in amazing silence! when he is allured by such a variety of dishes, and so savourily cooked, that the appetite is confounded in its choice! then to hear music during his repast without seeing the minstrel, or knowing from whence the sound proceeds; and after he has refreshed himself and the table is uncovered, while he lolls at ease upon his chair, perhaps picking his teeth, according to custom, he is surprised with the sight of another young lady, much more beautiful than any of the former, who enters the hall, and sitting down by the knight, begins to tell him whose castle that is, and how she is enchanted within it, relating other circumstances which create wonder in him, and raise the admiration of those who read the story. I need not further expatiate on this subject, since, from what hath been said, it plainly appears, that any part whatever of the history of any knight-errant whatever, must yield pleasure and surprise to any reader whatsoever. Believe me, therefore, good sir, and, as I have already hinted, take the trouble of reading those books, and you will see what effectual antidotes they are against melancholy, and how they improve the disposition when it is bad. For my own part, I can safely aver, that since I professed the order of knight-errantry, I have been valiant, courteous, liberal, well-bred, generous, civil, daring, goodhumoured, and a patient endurer of toils, captivities, and enchantment; and though I so lately found myself shut up in a cage, like a madman, I hope, by the valour of this my arm, provided Heaven shall favour and fortune cease to oppose me, in a few days to see myself sovereign of some kingdom, when I shall be enabled to demonstrate the gratitude and generosity which reside within my breast: for truly, signor, a poor man is incapable of exerting the virtue of liberality, let him possess it in never so eminent a degree: and that gratitude which is restrained to good-will alone, is like faith without works; no more than the ghost of virtue. Wherefore I wish fortune would speedily furnish me with an opportunity of making myself an emperor, that I may exercise the virtues of my heart, in bestowing benefits on my friends, especially on my poor 'squire Sancho Panza, one of the best men in the world, whom I intend to create an earl, in consequence of a promise which he obtained from me long ago; though I fear he wants capacity to manage his estate." These last words being overheard by Sancho, he said to his master, "Signor Don Quixote, I wish you would take the trouble to give me that same earldom, which is as firmly promised by your worship as expected by me, and I will undertake to find ability to manage it; or if I should find myself at a loss, I have heard it often said, that there are certain persons who farm the estates of great noblemen at so much a-year, and take charge of the whole, while the owner lolls at his ease, enjoying his income, without troubling his noddle about any other affairs. Now, I would live in the very same manner, minding the cares of this world as little as possible; but leaving off all sorts of business, enjoying my rents, like any duke, and let the world wag."-" Brother Sancho (said the canon), that is to be understood only of the spending your income; but the lord of a great estate must have regard to the administration of justice, which requires ability, sound judgment, and principally an upright intention; for if this be wanting in the beginning, the middle and end will always be involved in error; and therefore Heaven usually assists the righteous intent of the simple, while it confounds the wicked aims of the cunning."-" I know nothing of these philosophers (answered the 'squire), but this I know, that I wish to God I had this earldom, as soon as I should find understanding to manage it; for I have as big a soul as my neighbours, and as much body as he that has more; and would be as much a king in my own estate as any he that wears a head and so being, I would do what I pleased; and doing what I pleased, I should please myself; and pleasing myself, I should be satisfied; and in being satisfied, I should have nothing more to desire; and having nothing more to desire, there would be an end; so let the earldom come a God's name: I wish we could see it, as one blind man said to another."-" These are no bad philosophies, as you call them, Sancho (said the canon); but, for all that, there is much to be said on the subject of earldoms."-" I know not what more can be said (replied Don Quixote); for my own part, I do no more than follow the example transmitted to me by the great Amadis de Gaul, who created his 'squire Earl of the Firm Island; and therefore I may, without scruple of conscience, bestow the same honour on Sancho Panza, who is one of the best 'squires that ever served knight-errant." The canon was amazed at the methodical madness of Don Quixote, manifested in his description of the knight of the lake, and in the impression which the false adventures of chivalry had made upon his imagination: neither was his wonder diminished, when he considered the folly of Sancho, who so ardently desired the possession of that island which his master had promised to give him as the reward of his services. By this time the canon's servant had returned from the inn with the sumpter-mule; and, instead of a table, spread a carpet on the green grass, under the shade of some trees, where the company, seating themselves all round, went to dinner, that the waggoner might not lose the opportunity of such a convenient situation, as we have already observed. While they thus enjoyed themselves, their ears were struck with a sudden noise, and the sound of a bell, issuing from the midst of some briers and thickets that surrounded the place where they sat: and immediately appeared a beautiful she-goat, her skin speckled with spots of white, black, and grey, followed by the goatherd, who, in his rustic dialect, called to her to stop and return to the fold. The fugitive goat, trembling with affright, came towards the company, and there stopped, as if to implore their protection; while her keeper, seizing her by the horns, accosted her in these words, as if she had been possessed of sense and understanding: "Ah! you spotted wanton, what a rambler you have become of late; the wolves will feast upon you one daywhat is the matter with you, my pretty child? yet what else can it be, but that you are a fe male, and consequently inconstant? a plague upon your disposition, and all those you resem ble: return, return, my darling; and if you are not so happy, at least you will be more secure in the fold among your companions; for if you, who ought to watch over and guide the rest, stray about in this imprudent manner, what must become of them?” These words of the goatherd diverted those who heard them, especially the canon, who said to him, "I beseech you, brother, to pacify yourself, and be not in such a hurry to drive back your goat, which, being a female, as you observe, will follow her natural disposition, in spite of all you can do to oppose it. Take this morsel, and assuage your choler with a cup of wine, and in the meantime the goat will repose herself." So saying, he presented to him, on the point of a fork, the hind-quarter of a cold rabbit, which was thankfully accepted by the goatherd, who, having taken a long draught, and composed himself, said to the company, "Gentlemen, you must not take me for a simpleton, because I talk to this animal as if it were a rational creature; for really there is a mystery concealed beneath the words I have uttered. I am a peasant, 'tis true; yet not so rustic, but that I know how to converse with men as well as beasts.' "I firmly believe what you say (replied the curate): for I myself have experienced that the mountains produced learned men, and that philosophers are to be found within the shepherd's cot."-" At least (resumed the goatherd), the cottage may contain those who are warned by woful experience; and to convince you feelingly that what I allege is true, I, though undesired, and self-invited, saving the good pleasure of this good company, entreat a moment's hearing, while I recount a true story, which will confirm what that gentleman (pointing to the curate) and myself have observed." To this proposal Don Quixote replied: "As this affair seems to bear something of the shadow of an adventure, I, for my part, will gladly give you the hearing, brother; and so will all those gentlemen, who are persons of taste, and lovers of curious novels, that surprise, delight, and entertain the sensible hearer; for I hope your story will certainly produce these agreeable effects: begin then, friend; we are all attention."-" By your leave (cried Sancho), I will e'en betake myself, with this piece of pasty, to yonder brook, and lay in store for three days; for I have heard my master Don Quixote observe, that the 'squire of a knight-errant ought to eat as often and as much as he can, because they are frequently so bewildered in woods and forests, that it will take them six whole days to disengage themselves; and if a man's belly or his bags be not well lined with provision, there he may stay, as he often does, till he withers into perfect mummy."-" You are in the right, Sancho (said the knight), go where you will, and eat as much as you please; for my own part, my grosser appetite is satisfied, and now I want refreshment for the mind, which I shall enjoy in listening to this honest countryman's story."-"We shall all share in the repast," replied the canon, who entreated the peasant to perform his promise. Then the goatherd gave the goat, which he held by the horns, two slaps on the buttocks, saying, "Lie down by my side, you speckled nanny; we shall have time enough to return to the fold." The creature seemed to understand his meaning; for he was no sooner set, than she lay down very quietly, and, looking in his face, gave him to understand that she was attentive to what he was going to say; upon which he began his story in these words: CHAP. XXIV. The story which the Goatherd recounted to the conductors of Don Quixote. "THREE leagues from this valley stands a village, which, though small, is one of the richest in all this country; and therein dwelt a farmer in great repute: and albeit respect follows worldly wealth, he was more beloved for his virtue than respected for his riches; but what he regarded as the best part of his fortune (as he himself was wont to say) was a daughter he had, of such exceeding beauty, rare discretion, modesty, and grace, that every one who saw and knew her marvelled at the happy talents with which Heaven and nature had enriched her body and her soul: in the cradle she was handsome, and continually increased in beauty, till at the age of sixteen she was a most enchanting creature: the fame of her charms began to spread over all the neighbouring villages; but what need I say the neighbouring villages! it extended to distant cities, and even made its way into the king's court, filling the ears of all sorts of people, who came from all parts to see her, as if she had been some great curiosity, or miracle-working image. Her father watched over her with great care, and she took great care of herself; for, truly, a maiden's own prudent reserve is a better guard upon her conduct than all the bolts, and spies, and pad locks upon earth. The father's wealth and the daughter's beauty moved a great many people, both of town and country, to demand her in marriage; but he, like one who has the disposal of a rich jewel, was perplexed in his mind, and could not determine in favour of any one of the infinite number that solicited his consent. Among the crowd of her suitors I was one, who conceived great and flattering hopes of success; because her father knew me to be his townsman, of an honest family, in the flower of my age, rich in wealth, and, in point of understanding, not very poor. She was also courted by another young man of our town, who was in every respect my equal; so that her father was perplexed, and wavered in his choice, because he thought his daughter would be well bestowed upon either of us: wherefore, in order to deliver himself from this suspense, he resolved to communicate our demands to Leandra (for that is the name of this wealthy maiden, who hath made me miserable); and, since we were equal in all qualifications, to refer the whole affair to the choice and decision of his beloved daughter, an example worthy to be followed by every fa ther in the settlement of his children: not that I would have parents leave them to their own choice in things that are manifestly wicked and base; but first propose a number of prudent schemes, out of which they may be allowed to fix upon that which is most to their liking. I know not to which of us Leandra gave the preference; this only I know, that her father put us off, on pretence of his daughter's tender years, in general terms, which neither laid him under any obligation, nor gave us any cause of complaint. I think proper to tell you, that I am called Eugenio, and my rival Anselmo, that you may be acquainted with the names of the persons principally concerned in this tragedy, which is still depending; though one may easily foresee that it must have a melancholy end. "But to return to my story: just about that time, there came to our town one Vincent de la Rosa, the son of a poor labouring man that lived in the village: this Vincent, who was just returned from being a soldier in Italy, and other foreign parts, had been carried away, when he was a boy about twelve years of age, by a captain that chanced to march through the town with his company: and now, after an absence of another dozen of years, he returned, in the garb of a soldier, pinked up in a thousand colours, and bedecked with a power of glass toys and slender chains of steel. To-day he dressed himself out in one gay suit, to-morrow in another; but all this finery and gewgaws were of little weight or value. The labouring people, who are naturally malicious, nay, when idle ness gives them opportunity, downright malice itself, observed and took an exact account of all his ornaments and fine apparel, and found that he had no more than three suits of different colours, with garters and hose; but he found means to disguise them by such inventions, that one who had not been at the pains to detect him, would have sworn that he had ap peared in more than ten different dresses, and in upwards of twenty plumes of feathers; and you must not think it impertinent or foolish in me to give you this account of his clothes, because they bear a considerable share in the story. He used to seat himself upon a stone, under a tall poplar that grew in our marketplace, and there keep us all gaping round him at the exploits which he recounted: if you would take his word for it, there was not a country on the face of the earth which he had not seen, nor a battle in which he had not served: he had killed a greater number of Moors than ever Tunis or Morocco produced; and, by his own account, fought more single combats than were ever maintained by Gante, Luna, Diego Garcia de Paredez, and a thousand more whom he named, gaining the victory in each, without losing one single drop of his blood: then he would shew the marks of wounds, which, though not to be distinguished, he gave us to understand were the effects of musket-shot he had received in different actions and encounters: finally, with incredible arrogance, he used to hout his own equals, even those who knew his extraction, and say, that his own arm was his father, his family the work of his own hands, and, being a soldier, he owed nothing even to the king himself: with all his boasting, he knew something of music, and could thrum upon the guitar, so as that some people said he made it speak: but his talents did not end here; for he was also a piece of a poet, and wrote ballads a league and a half long, upon every silly trifle that happened in the village. Well then, this soldier whom I have described, this Vincent de la Rosa, this braggadocio, this gallant, this musician and poet, was often seen and observed by Leandra from the window of her apartment, that looked towards the market-place: she was captivated by the tinsel of his gaudy clothes, and enchanted by his ballads, for he gave away twenty copies of each that he composed; the feats he related of himself reached her ears; in short (as the devil himself must certainly have ordained), she fell in love with him, even before he had the presumption to make any attempt upon her heart; and as, in the affairs of love, every thing is easily accomplished by the man who is already in possession of the woman's affection, Leandra and Vincent soon came to a right understanding; and before any one of her numerous admirers had the least inkling of her inclination, she had already gratified it, by leaving the house of her loving and indulgent father (mother had she none), and running away with the soldier, who triumphed in that enterprise, and more effectually than in any one he had ever undertaken. "This event filled not only the whole village, but likewise all who heard of it, with admiration: I, for my part, was amazed, Anselmo astonished, the father overwhelmed with sorrow, and the relations with shame. Justice, however, being solicited, the troopers immediately took the road, examined every copse and thicket thereabouts, and, after a search of three days, found the giddy Leandra in the cave of a mountain, naked to the smock, and stripped of a great quantity of money and precious jewels, which she had carried off when she made her escape: when she was brought back to the presence of her afflicted father, and questioned about her misfortune, she frankly owned that Vincent de la Rosa had imposed upon her; that, under promise of marriage, he had persuaded her to forsake her father's house, promising to conduct her to Naples, which, he said, was the most beautiful and flourishing city in the whole world; that she inadvertently and fondly believed his false professions, and, robbing her father, put herself under his protection that same night she was missed, when he carried her to a rocky moun tain, and confined her in the cave where she was found: she likewise affirmed that the soldier, without making any attempt upon her virtue, had stripped her of all she had, and left her in that forlorn condition,—a circumstance |