good permission (replied the priest), this it is: I can by no means persuade myself that the whole tribe of knights-errant, whom your wor ship has named, were really and truly earthly persons of flesh and blood: on the contrary, I imagine all these things are fictions, fables, and lying dreams, recounted by men who are awake, or rather by those who are half asleep."-"That (said Don Quixote), is another error incident to many people, who do not believe that any such knights ever existed; and I have, on divers and sundry occasions, endeavoured to dissipate that almost general mistake by the light of truth: sometimes, indeed, I have not succeeded in my attempts; however, I have frequently gained my point, by supporting it on the shoulders of demonstration; and truly the case is so clear, that I could almost affirm I have with my own eyes beheld Amadis de Gaul, who was a tall man, of a fair complexion, well furnished with a black beard, his aspect something between mild and severe, concise of speech, slow to anger, and soon appeased. In the same manner, methinks, I could delineate and paint all the knights-errant that ever were recorded in history; for, according to the ideas formed by reading these histories, and by comparing their exploits and dispositions, sound philosophy may discover their lineaments, statures, and complexions."-" Signor Don Quixote (said the barber), how large do you think the giant Morgante must have been ?"-" As to the affair of giants (answered the knight), there are different opinions; some affirming, and others denying, the existence of any such beings: but the holy Scriptures, which surely cannot fail one atom in point of truth, put that affair beyond all dispute, in relating the story of that Philistine Goliath, who was seven cubits and an half in height: a most amazing stature! Besides, in the island of Sicily, several thigh and shoulderbones have been dug up, so large as to manifest that the persons to whom they belonged must have been huge giants, as tall as high towers; and this can be proved by mathematical demonstration: but, nevertheless, I will not pretend to ascertain the size of Morgante, though I be lieve he was not very tall, because I find in the history which gives a particular account of his exploits, that he often slept under a roof: now, if there was any house capacious enough to receive him, his magnitude could not be very extraordinary."-"No, surely (said the curate); who, being diverted with his extravagant assertions, asked his opinion concerning the looks and persons of Reynaldo de Montalban, Don Orlando, and the rest of the twelve peers of France, who were all knights-errant.". -"With regard to Reynaldo (answered Don Quixote), I will venture to say, he was broad-visaged, of a ruddy complexion, with large rolling eyes, full of punctilio, excessively choleric, and a friend to rob bers and vagabonds. As for Roldan, or Roto- Another bard may sing in loftier lay, And truly this was a sort of prophecy, for the poets are also called vates, which in Latin signifies diviners, and it was plainly verified in the event, an Andalusian bard having since that time sung in verse her tears and lamentation, as the most famous and sublime genius of Castile hath celebrated her beauty." "Pray tell me, Signor Don Quixote (said the barber), among all those authors who have written in her praise, hath not some one or other composed a satire against my lady Angelica?"" I firmly believe (replied the knight), that if Sacripante or Roldan had been bards, they would have made the damsel smart severely, it being natural and peculiar to poets, who are disdained and rejected by their false mistresses, whether real or imaginary, to revenge themselves by satires and lampoons; a resentment altogether unworthy of generous breasts; but hitherto I have not met with any such defamatory verses against the lady Angelica, though she made strange confusion in the world."" That is a wonder, indeed," said the curate; when, hearing the housekeeper and niece, who had some time before quitted the company, bawling aloud in the yard, they ran out to see what was the occasion of such noise. THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF CHAP. II. The notable fray that happened between Sancho and Don Quixote's niece and housekeeper; with other diverting incidents. THE history relates, that the noise which Don Quixote, the curate, and barber heard, was occasioned by the niece and housekeeper scolding at Sancho, who struggled to get in and see his master, while they defended the door. "What does the swag-bellied lurcher want in this house? (said the housekeeper): get you home, brother; it was you, and none but you, that turned my poor master's brain, enticing him from his own home to stroll about the highways." apostrophe Sancho replied, To this Satan! 'tis my brain that's turned; 'twas I Housekeeper of that was enticed to stroll about the highways, and not my master; for he carried me a rambling; so that you have reckoned without your host. 'Twas he that wheedled me from my own house, with the promise of an island, which I expect to this good hour."-" Devil choke thee with islands, thou cursed cormorant! (cried the niece), and pray what is an island? is it any thing to eat, thou gorbellied glutton, ha ?" 66 No, not to eat, but to govern (answered Sancho), and a fat government it is. Better than four cities, or the places of any four of the king's alcades.' "Be that as it will (said the housekeeper), thou sha'n't set thy foot in this house, thou bag of mischief and bundle of malice! go and look after thy own family, fatten thy hogs, and let us hear no more of these islands or oil-lands." The curate and barber were highly entertained with this dialogue; but Don Quixote fearing that Sancho would open his budget, and disburden himself of some mischievous load of folly, by blabbing things not much to his credit, called him in, bidding the women hold their tongues, and give him entrance. Sancho being accordingly admitted, the curate and barber took their leave of Don Quixote, whose recovery they despaired of, seeing him so unalterably fixed in his folly, and so wholly possessed with the frantic spirit of knight-errantry. see, neighbour (said the curate to the barber), "You shall that when we least think of it, this poor gentleman will make another sally."no doubt of (answered the barber); but I don't "That I make wonder so much at the madness of the knight as at the simplicity of the 'squire, who believes so devoutly in this island, that I think all the invention of man could not extract it from his skull."-"God mend them! (replied the curate), meanwhile let us keep a strict eye over their behaviour, and observe the operation of their joint extravagance; for the madness of the master seems to have been cast in the same mould with the foolishness of the man, and, in my opi nion, the one without the other would not be worth a farthing." "True (said the barber), now talking of."-" I dare say (replied the and I should be glad to know what they are curate), the niece and housekeeper will give us a good account of their conversation; for they ty of listening." are none of those who can resist the opportuni himself up in his apartment with Sancho, said, In the meantime, Don Quixote having shut "It gives me much concern, Sancho, to hear thee say, as thou dost, that I enticed thee from thy cottage, when thou knowest that I, at the same time, quitted my own house: together we set out, lived and travelled together; sharing the same fortune and the same fate. If thou hast been once tossed in a blanket, I have been pre-eminence I enjoyed."-" And that's but bruised an hundred times, and this is the only reasonable (replied Sancho), according to your worship's own remark, that misfortune belongs more to knights-errant than to their 'squires." Quixote); for the Latin adage says, Quando "There you are mistaken, Sancho (said Don caput dolet, &c."-" Nay (quoth Sancho), I understand no lingo but my mother-tongue." "The meaning (said the master), is, When I, therefore, as thy lord and master, am thy the head aches, all the members are affected. head, and thou, as my servant, art a part of me, so that whatever mischief has happened or may happen to me, ought to extend to thee likewise, in the same manner as I bear a share in all thy sufferings." but when I, as a member, was tossed in a blan"So it ought to be (said Sancho); ket, my head sat peaceably on the other side of the wall, and beheld me vaulting in the air, without feeling the least uneasiness; and since I think it is but just that the head should ache the members are obliged to ache with the head, with the members.". Sancho (replied Don Quixote), that I felt no "How canst thou affirm, pain while thou wast tossed in the blanket? say or think so no more; for I was at that time more afflicted in mind than thou in body. sent, and time will, no doubt, offer an oppor"But let us waive this subject for the pretunity of considering it more maturely, and of friend Sancho, how am I spoke of in this place? setting every thing to rights: and tell me, what say the vulgar? what character do I bear the knights? what is their opinion of my valour, among the gentry? and how am I treated by exploits, and courteous behaviour? and how do they relish the design I have undertaken of raising and restoring to the world the longforgotten order of knight-errantry? In short, Sancho, I desire that thou wilt inform me of every thing thou hast heard on this subject, without adding to the good, or subtracting from to represent the truth to their masters in its the evil; it being the duty of faithful servants own native form, neither exaggerated by adula tion, nor diminished by any other vain respect; said his master. "More! (cried the 'squire), the tail is yet unfleaed. What you have heard is but cakes and gingerbread; but if your worship would know all the backbitings we suffer, I will this moment bring hither one, who can inform you of every circumstance, without los ing a crumb; for last night the son of Bartholomew Carrasco arrived from Salamanca, where he has been at his studies, and got a bachelor's degree: and when I went to welcome him home, he told me there was a printed book of your worship's history, in which you go by the name of the Ingenious 'Squire Don Quix ote de la Mancha; and that I am mentioned in it by my own name of Sancho Panza, as well as my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, with other things that passed between you and me only; "Well then (said the 'squire), in the first at hearing of which, I crossed myself through place, you must know that the common people fear, wondering how they should come to the think your worship a stark staring madman, knowledge of the historian."-" You may deand me a most notorious fool: the better sort pend upon it, Sancho (said Don Quixote), the say, that, scorning the rank of a private gentle author of our history must be some sage enman, you have put Don before your name, and chanter; for nothing is hid from writers of that dubbed yourself knight, with a small garden, class."" How can he be a sage enchanter a few acres of land, and a doublet clouted on (said Sancho), when bachelor Sampson Carboth sides. The knights forsooth are affront- rasco-for that's the name of him who told me→ ed that your small gentry should pretend to says the author of our history is called Cid Ha vie with them, especially those needy 'squires met Bean-and-jelly?"-" That name is Moorwho sole their own shoes, and darn their black ish," (replied Don Quixote).-" Very like (said hose with green silk.". "That observation the 'squire); for I have often heard that the (said Don Quixote), cannot affect me; for I Moors are very fond of beans and jellies.”— always wear good clothes, and never appear" Thou must certainly be mistaken, Sancho patched. My doublet may indeed be torn, but then it is by my armour, not by time.""Touching the valour, courtesy, adventures, and design of your worship (said Sancho), there are different opinions. Some say he is mad, but a diverting madman; others allow that he is valiant, but unlucky; a third set observe that he is courteous, but impertinent; and in this manner we are handled so severely, that neither your worship nor I have a whole bone left." You see, Sancho (said Don Quixote), that whenever virtue shines in an eminent degree, she always meets with persecution. Few or none of the celebrated heroes of antiquity could escape the calumnies of malice: Julius Cæsar, a most daring, wise, and valiant general, was accused of being ambitious, and not over-cleanly in his customs or apparel; Alexander, who by his achievements acquired the name of Great, was said to be a drunkard; and Hercules, renowned for his labours, re ported to have been lewd and effeminate: Don Galaor, brother of Amadis de Gaul, was grum❤ bled at for being excessively quarrelsome; and Amadis himself ridiculed as an arrant whiner. Therefore, son Sancho, among so many asper sions thrown upon such great men, I may well overlook what is said against me, since it is no worse than what thou hast repeated."-"That's the very thing, body of my father!" replied Sancho. 66 What, is there any thing more?" (said Don Quixote), in the surname of that Cid, which, in Arabie, signifies Signor."-" Very possible (answered, the 'squire); but if your worship desires to see the bachelor, I will bring him hither in a twinkling."-" Thou wilt oblige me very much, my friend (said Don Quixote); for what thou hast told me has bred such doubts and suspense within me, that I cannot eat a morsel with any satisfaction, until I am informed of the whole affair."-" Then I'll go seek him," replied Sancho,-who, leaving his master, went in quest of the bachelor, with whom he returned in a little time, and a most pleasing dialogue ensued. CHAP. III. The ludicrous conversation that passed between Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the bache lor Sampson Carrasco. Don Quixote remained extremely pensive, in expectation of the bachelor Sampson Carrasco, from whom he hoped to hear news of himself in print, according to Sancho's information,though he could hardly persuade himself that there could be such a history extant; the blood of his enemies whom he had slain being scarce as yet dry upon the blade of his sword, and yet they would have his high achievements already recorded in printed books. He there fore imagined that some sage, either friend or foe, had cast them off by the power of enchantment; if a friend, in order to aggrandize and extol them above the most distinguished exploits of knight-errantry; if an enemy, to an nihilate and depress them beneath the meanest actions that ever were recorded of any 'squire. "Although (said he within himself), the deeds of 'squires are never committed to writing, and if my history actually exists, seeing it treats of a knight-errant, it must of necessity be pompous, sublime, surprising, magnificent, and true." This reflection consoled him a little; but he became uneasy again, when he recollected that his author was a Moor, as appeared by the name of Cid; and that no truth was to be expected from that people, who are all false, deceitful, and chimerical. He was afraid that his amours were treated with some indecency, that might impair and prejudice the honour of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, wishing for nothing more than a true representation of his fidelity, and the decorum he always preserved, in refusing queens, empresses, and damsels of all ranks, thus keeping the impulse of his passions under the rein. Tossed, therefore, and fluctuating on these and many other fancies, he was found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom the knight received with great courtesy. The bachelor, though his name was Sampson, was not very big, but a great wag, of a pale complexion and excellent understanding; he was about the age of four-and-twenty; had a round visage, flat nose, and capacious mouth, all symptoms of a mischievous disposition, addicted to jokes and raillery; as appeared when he approached Don Quixote, before whom he fell upon his knees, saying, "Permit me to kiss your most puissant hand, Signor Don Quixote de la Mancha; for, by the habit of St Peter, which I wear, though I have received no other orders than the first four, your worship is one of the most famous knights-errant that ever were, or ever will be, within the circumference of the globe! Blest be Cid Hamet Benengeli, who wrote the history of your greatness! and thrice blest that curious person who took care to have it translated from the Arabic into our mother tongue, for the entertainment of mankind." Don Quixote, raising him up, said, "'Tis true then that there is a history of me, and that the sage who composed it is a Moor?" "So true, signor (said Sampson), that to my certain knowledge there are twelve thousand volumes of it this day in print-let Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where they were printed, contradict me if they can. It is even reported to be now in the press at Antwerp; and I can easily perceive that there is scarce a nation or language into which it will not be translated."-" One of the things (said Don Quixote), on this occasion, which ought to afford the greatest satisfaction to a virtuous and eminent man, is to live and see himself cele brated in different languages, and his actions recorded in print with universal approbation ; I say with approbation, because to be represented otherwise is worse than the worst of deaths." "In point of reputation and renown (said the bachelor), your worship alone bears away the palm from all other knights-errant ; for the Moor in Arabic, and the Christian in his language, have been careful in painting the gallantry of your worship to the life; your vast courage in encountering dangers, your patience in adversity, your fortitude in the midst of wounds and mischance, together with the honour and chastity of your Platonic love for my lady Donna Dulcinea del Toboso." Here Sancho interposing, said, "I never heard my lady called Donna Dulcinea, but simply the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; so that there the history is wrong."-" That is no material objection," answered Carrasco. "No sure (replied the knight); but tell me, Mr Bachelor, which of my exploits is most esteemed in this history ?"-" As to that particu lar (said the bachelor), there are as many dif ferent opinions as there are different tastes.Some stick to the adventure of the windmills, which to your worship appeared monstrous giants; others to that of the fulling-mills: this reader to the description of the two armies, which were afterwards metamorphosed into flocks of sheep; while another magnifies that of the dead body, which was carrying to the place of interment at Segovia: one says, that the deliverance of the galley-slaves excels all the rest; and a second affirms, that none of them equals the adventure of the Benedictine giants, and your battle with the valiant Biscayner." Here Sancho interrupting him again, said, "Tell me, Mr Bachelor, is the adventure of the Yanguesians mentioned, when our modest Rozinante longed for green pease in December?"*"Nothing, (replied Sampson) has escaped the pen of the sage author, who relates every thing most minutely, even to the capers which honest Sancho cut in the blanket.”—“ I cut no capers in the blanket (answered Sancho); but in the air, I grant you, I performed more than I desired."" In my opinion (said Don Quixote), there is no human history that does not contain reverses of fortune, especially those that treat of chivalry, which cannot always be attended with success."- "Nevertheless (resumed the bachelor), some who have • Pedir cotufas en el golfo, signifies to look for tartuffles in the sea,-a proverb applicable to those who are too sanguine in their expectations and unreasonable in their desires. read your history say they should not have been sorry, had the author forgot a few of those infinite drubbings, which, in different encounters, were bestowed on the great Don Quixote." "But in this consists the truth of history," said the 'squire. Don Quixote observed, that they might as well have omitted them; for those incidents, which neither change nor affect the truth of the story, ought to be left out, if they tend to depreciate the chief character. "Take my word for it (said he), Eneas was not so pious as Virgil represents him, nor Ulysses so prudent as he is exhibited by Homer."-" True (said Sampson); but it is one thing to compose as a poet, and another to record as an historian: the poet may relate or rehearse things, not as they were, but as they ought to have been; whereas an historian must transmit them, not as they ought to have been, but exactly as they were, without adding to or subtracting the least tittle from it."-" Since this Moorish gentleman has told all the truth (said Sancho), I don't doubt that, among the drubbings of my master, he has mentioned mine also; for they never took the measure of his shoulders with out crossing my whole body: but at this I ought not to wonder, since, as he observes, when the head aches, the members ought to have their share of the pain."-"You are a sly rogue, Sancho (replied Don Quixote); and I find you don't want memory when you think proper to use it."-" If I had all the mind in the world (said Sancho), to forget the blows I have received, the marks, which are still fresh upon my carcass, would by no means allow me." "Hold your peace (said the knight), and don't interrupt Mr Bachelor, whom I entreat to proceed; and let me know what more is said of me in this same history."-" Ay, and of me too (cried Sancho), who, they say, am one of the principal personages of it." "You mean persons and not personages, friend Sancho," said Sampson. "What! have we got another reprimander of words? (said the 'squire): since it is come to this, we shall never have done." -"Plague light upon thee, Sancho (replied the bachelor), if you are not the second person of the history; and there are many who would rather hear you speak than the first character in the book; though some there be also, who say you are excessively credulous, in believing there could be any foundation for the government of that island which was promised to you by Signor Don Quixote, here present."-"There is no time lost (said Don Quixote): while thou art advancing in years, Sancho, age will bring experience; and then thou wilt be more qualified and fit to govern than thou art at present."-"Fore God! sir (said Sancho), the island which I cannot govern with these years I shall never govern, were I as old as Methusalem: the mischief is, that this same island is delayed I don't know how; not that I want noddle to govern it."-" Recommend it, Sancho (said Don Quixote), to the direction of Heaven, which does all for the best, and may, perhaps, exceed your expectation; for not a leaf can move upon a tree without the permis sion of God."- "True (said Sampson), if it be the will of God, Sancho shall not want a thousand islands, much less one to govern."-" I have seen governors in my time (quoth Sancho), who, to my thinking, did not come up to the sole of my shoe, and yet they were called your lordship, and served in plate."-" Those were not governors of islands (replied Sampson), but of other governments more easily managed; for such as govern islands ought, at least, to have some grammatical knowledge."-" I know very well how to cramt (said Sancho); but as to the matted cawl, I will neither meddle nor make, because I don't understand it: but leaving this government in the hands of God, who will dispose of me the best for his own service, I am, Mr Bachelor Sampson Carrasco, infinitely pleas ed and rejoiced that the author of our history has spoke of me in such a manner as not to give offence; for, by the faith of a good 'squire! if he had said any thing of me that did not be come an old Christian as I am, the deaf should have heard of it."—"That were a miracle indeed!" answered Sampson. "Miracle or no miracle (said Sancho), let every man take care how he speaks or writes of honest people, and not set down at a venture the first thing that comes into his jolter-head." "One of the faults that are found with the history (added the bachelor), is, that the author has inserted in it a novel, entitled, The Impertinent Curiosity. Not that the thing itself. is bad, or poorly executed, but because it is unseasonable, and has nothing to do with the story of his worship Signor Don Quixote.""I'll lay a wager (cried Sancho), that this son of a cur has made a strange hodge-podge of the whole."-" Now I find (said the knight), that the author of my history is no sage, but some ignorant prater, who, without either judgment or premeditation, has undertaken to write it at random, like Orbaneja, the painter of Ubeda, who being asked what he painted, answered, Just as it happens;' and when he would sometimes scrawl out a mis-shapen cock, was fain to write under it in Gothic letters, This is a cock; and my history being of the same kind, ▪ Aun ay sol en las bardas-There is still sunshine on the wall-i. e. It is not yet too late. + Finding it impossible to translate the original pun or blunder, I have substituted another in its room, on the word grammatical, which I think has at least an equally good effect. |