BLARNEY.

WILLIAM CARLETON.

Air" Crusoe the Second."

ALL mankind love praise, of that there's little doubt,

It matters not what be their station; There is not an ear in the company here,

But is partial to vain approbation. To be gammoned in what we all fairly detest,

While the language of flattery may charm you;

But I sing in the praise of that expressive phrase,

That queer little word, namely, Blar

ney.

Chorus.-Flattery, gammon, and blarney, Flattery, gammon, and blar

ney;

They are closely allied, but it can't be denied,

That the worst of the three is the blarney.

In the windows you'll meet, as you walk through the street,

Such bargains as fairly surprise you;

And to your eyes seem a great sacrifice, But they're only put there to entice you.

To view the inside you're induced to proceed,

The sight for the moment may charm you;

It need not be told, when you buy you are sold,

And fairly hood-winked by the blar

ney.

Flattery, gammon, etc.

If you get ill, and require doctor's skill, And call some one in to attend you; He'll take all the claim to the praise and the fame,

Though nature had done most to mend you.

Rewarding his skill, when he hands in his bill,

The sight for a moment alarms you ; You say thanks to him or I might have been dead,

That's a cool draught of medical blar.

ney.

Flattery, gammon, etc.

And those gents of the cloth, that's the clergy in troth,

Are constantly striving to teach us Ne'er to cover or steal, but study to feel That contentment is better than riches. Their day and night dreams are collections and schemes,

To be liberal they oftentimes warn you; And cry blessed be the poor, though I'm pretty shure,

That's a little bit clerical blarney.

Flattery, gammon, etc.

To you young ladies here, I've a word for your ear,

I think to my counsel you'll listen ; You could not do worse than in placing your trust

In those chaps that's too partial to kissing.

Who vow on their knees, while your soft hand they squeeze,

And say such sweet words meant to

charm you;

That they'll love you through life, and make you their wife,

That's nothing but amorous blarney.
Flattery, gammon, etc.

When women get married they gammon
the men;

If you doubt it, you'd better just try
them-

If a bonnet's required, they're with blar-
ney inspired,

And you're fairly unfit to deny them. They'll wheedle and coax till they manage their point,

Of refusal they fairly disarm you ; For who could resist when a woman insists,

And to her aid brings in the soft
blarney?

Flattery, gammon, etc.

'Tis perfectly true that by blarney you do At times often master an object; While you're trying its fame without knowing the same,

As the prelude to many a project. Now I would solicit your honest applause, Pray grant it, it surely won't harm

you;

Although in return I've given you naught,
But flattery, gammon, and blarney.

Flattery, gammon, etc.

A

THE BEAUTIFUL MAID OF SEVENTY

YE lovers, behold a poor maiden for^ lorn,

But as pretty a creature as ever wa

born;

My nose it is flat, and my eyes they are sunk,

And they goggle about just as if they were drunk;

My cheeks, like a turnip, are fair, O!
Like carrots my beautiful hair, O!
My charms make the gentlemen stare,
O!

And they call me the beautiful maid.

My legs they are bent, but I dance with a grace,

And the hump on my back adds a charm to my face;

Though dimples I've none, I have wrinkles a score,

And I'm sure you ne'er saw such a beauty before.

But pray what's beauty, alas, O! With the beaux now-a-days 'tis a farce, O!