ON THE

DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP

BETWEEN

A SURGEON AND AN UNDERTAKER.

WHEN Leo the grave-feeder hunger'd for blood, Him Surgeon Jackall replenish'd with food,

They dwelt in one house, they carv'd meat for each other;

Whom one potion'd to death was a tenant to brother. They quarrel'd-the contract no longer held dear, And Mortality's Bill fell a thousand a year.

EPIGRAM.

As Tom was one day in deep chat with his friend, He gravely advis'd him his manners to mend; That his morals were bad, he had heard it from many. They lie, replied Tom-for I never had any.

THE CHOICE.

Lo! there's the bride, and there's the tree;
Take which of them best pleases thee.
"The bargain's bad, on either part-
"But, hangman, come!-drive on the cart."

EPIGRAM.

[MARTIAL.]

THY hair and beard are of a different dye,
Short of one foot, distorted in an eye-
With all these symptoms of a rogue complete,
Should'st thou be honest-thou'rt a dev'lish cheat.

ANECDOTE OF MR. PITT AND LORD THURLOW.

In the year 1790, when the Lord Chancellor Thurlow was supposed to be on unfriendly terms with the Premier, a friend asking the latter how Lord Thurlow drew with them? " I don't know," says Pitt, "how he draws, but he has not yet refused his oats."

EPIGRAM.

ANCIENT Phillis has young graces,
'Tis a strange thing, but a true one;
Shall I tell you how?

She herself makes her own faces,
And each morning wears a new one:
Where's the wonder now ?

ON A NOISY POLEMIC.

[BURNS.]

BELOW these stones lie Jamie's bones;
O Death, it's my opinion,

Thou ne'er took'st such a bleth'ring bitch
Into thy dark dominion..

TU DOCES.

THESE words were inscribed by Harry Erskine on his tea-chest, and make a neat pun when translated literally, being the second person singular of the verb doceo, to teach, viz. thou teachest.

EPIGRAM.

ONCE on a time I fair Eusebia kiss'd,
Whose nose was too distinguish'd to be miss'd:
My dear, says I, I fain would kiss you closer,
But tho' your lips say Aye-your nose says, No, Sir.
-The maid was equally to fun inclin'd,
And plac'd her lovely lily hand behind:
Here, swain, she cry'd, may'st thou securely kiss,
Where there's no nose to interrupt thy bliss.

CAMDEN gives us the following EPITAPH, equal in impiety and absurdity:

Here ligg I, Martin Eltingbrod,

Have mercy on my soul, Lord God,
As I would do if I were God,

And thou wert Martin Eltingbrod.

Which probably gave rise to the Archbishop of
C'S ADDRESS TO THE DEITY:

Such is my most transcendent love of thee,
And such my self-denial touching me,
That were it possible that I
Had been the all-creating Deity,

And thou hadst worn, as I do now,
The sacred mitre on thy brow-
To thee my deity I would resign,
And let the plain Archbishopric be mine.

....

PARODIED BY A CURATE.

As you are Archbishop, and I a poor Curate,
(My love to myself I own is obdurate,)
To thee my curacy I would resign,
And let the plain Archbishopric be mine.

ON THE MARRIAGE OF A SILVERSMITH WITH
A PUBLICAN'S DAUGHTER.

IN Scripture search, you'll find it said,
That earth to earth in vessels wed:
But now 'tis plain the marriage-knot
To silver joins the pewter pot.

ANECDOTE OF SIR THOMAS MORE.

MANNERS, who had been lately created Earl of Rutland, told Sir Thomas More that he was too much elated with his preferment (being made Lord Chancellor), saying he verified the old proverb, Honores mutant Mores.

No, my Lord, replied Sir Thomas; the pun will do better in English,

Honors change Manners.

ON A PALE LADY.

WHENCE Comes it that on Clara's face

The lily only has a place?
Is it because the absent rose

Is gone to paint her husband's nose ?