CHAP. I.

Of the behaviour of the Curate and Barber, with regard to Don Quixote's infirmity.

CID Hamet Benengeli, in the second part of this history, containing the third sally of Don Quixote, relates, that the curate and barber forbore to visit him for a whole month, that they might not revive and recall to his imagination the remembrance of things past; but, during all that time, they frequently went to see the housekeeper and niece, on whom they laid strong injunctions to cherish the knight with great care and tenderness, and treat him with such comfortable food as should be most agreeable to his stomach and brain, in which they reasonably supposed that his whole disorder lay. The ladies assured them it was their chief study, which they would prosecute with all imaginable care and satisfaction; for they began to perceive that their master, at certain intervals, gave tokens of being in his right wits. This information afforded great pleasure to the two friends, who now concluded they had acted wisely in bringing him home on the enchanted waggon, as hath been recounted in the last chapter of the first part of this sublime and punctual history; and determined to pay him a visit, that they might be convinced of his amendment, which they deemed almost impossible: though they agreed to avoid, with great care, the subject of chivalry, that they might run no risk of ripping up the wound so lately closed.

In short, they entered his chamber, and found him sitting upon his bed, in a waistcoat

of green baize, and a red Toledan nightcap, so meagre, shrunk, and withered, that he looked like an Egyptian mummy: he received them very courteously; and when they inquired into the state of his health, spoke of his indisposition and himself with great judgment and elocution. Their conversations happening to turn on what is called reasons of state, and modes of administration, they amended certain abuses, and condemned others, reforming one custom and banishing another; as if each of the three had been a new legislator, a modern Lycurgus, or regenerated Solon; and in such a manner did they furbish up the commonwealth, that one would have imagined they had committed it to a forge, and brought out another quite different from that which they put in. Don Quixote spoke on every subject that was handled with such discretion, as actually convinced the two examiners, that he was quite sound, and had recovered the right exercise of his judgment; while the niece and housekeeper, who were present all the time, thought they could never be thankful enough to God, when they heard their master talk so sensibly. But the curate altering his first resolution, which was, to avoid the subject of chivalry, now determined to make an experiment, by which he should be thoroughly satisfied whether the knight's cure was real or imaginary; with this view, he, from one thing to another, came to mention some news from court, and among other pieces of intelligence, said, he was certainly informed that the Turk had taken the sea with a powerful armament, though his design was not known, nor could it be guessed where the expected storm would burst: but that these prepa

rations, which keep us almost constantly in arms, had alarmed all Christendom; and that his majesty had ordered the coasts of Naples and Sicily, with the island of Malta, to be provided against all attempts. To this intimation Don Quixote replied," His majesty has acted like a most prudent warrior, in providing for the safety of his dominions, that the enemy may not find them unprepared; but, if he would take my advice, I would furnish him with an expedient, which I believe our sovereign at present little thinks of."

The curate no sooner heard these words, than he said within himself, "Lord have mercy upon thee, poor Don Quixote! if I am not mistaken, thou art just going to cast thyself headlong from the highest pinnacle of madness into the profound abyss of thy folly." But the barber, who immediately adopted the same suspicion, asked the knight what that expedient was, which he thought should be put in practice by way of prevention; observing, that it was perhaps such a scheme as deserved to be inserted in the list of those impertinent advices usually offered to crowned heads. "Mine, Mr Shaver (said Don Quixote), will be pertinent, not impertinent."-" I don't say otherwise (replied the barber); I only made that observation, because experience hath shewn that all, or the greatest part, of those projects which have been offered to his majesty are either impossible, extravagant, or prejudicial to the state."- My scheme (answered the knight), is neither impossible nor extravagant; but, on the contrary, the most easy, just, brief, and expeditious that ever projector conceived."-" Methinks your worship is very slow in delivering it, Signor Don Quixote," said the priest. "I should not choose (answered the knight), to have what I say here carried by to-morrow morning to the ears of the lords of the council; by which means another may reap the credit and reward of my labour."—"For my own part (cried the barber), I here give my word before God, never to disclose what your worship shall impart, either to king or knave, or any mortal man, an oath I learned in the romance of the Curate, who, in the preface, gives the king notice of the robber that stole his hundred ducats and ambling mule."-" I am not acquainted with the story (said Don Quixote), but the oath is a good oath, because I am convinced that Mr Nicholas is an honest man."-" Be

that as it will (replied the curate), I will be bound for him, and undertake that, with regard to this affair, he shall speak no more than if he was actually dumb, on pain of whatever penalty you shall think proper to inflict.”—“ Ând who will be security for you, Mr Curate?" said the knight. "My profession (answered the priest), by which I am bound to keep secrets." " Body of me! (cried Don Quixote), his majesty has nothing to do but to issue a proclamation, commanding all the knights-errant in Spain to assemble at his court by such a day; and although not more than half a dozen should come, among these one may be found, who is alone sufficient to overthrow the whole Turkish power. Pray, gentlemen, give attention, and take me along with you: is it such a new thing for a single knight to cut in pieces a whole army of two hundred thousand men, as if they had but one common throat, or were made of gingerbread? How many histories are there, think you, filled with such marvellous exploits? Unfortunate it is for me (I will not say for any other), that the renowned Don Belianis is not now alive, or some knight of the innumerable race of Amadis de Gaul; for if any one of them was now living to confront the Turks, in good sooth I should not choose to farm their conquests; but God will provide for his own people, and produce some champion, who, if not equal in valour to former knights-errant, at least will be inferior to none of them in point of courage.*-Heaven knows my meaning-I will say no more."-" Lack-a-day! (cried the niece, when she heard this insinuation), I'll be hanged if my uncle is not resolved to turn knighterrant again."-" A knight-errant (replied Don Quixote), I will live and die; and the Turks may make their descents or ascents when they will, with all the power they are masters of-I say again, Heaven knows my meaning"-Here the barber interposing," Gentlemen (said he), I beg you will give me leave to tell a short story of what once happened at Seville; it comes so pat to the purpose, that I have a strong inclination to relate it." Don Quixote and the curate granted his request, and the rest yielded him attention, when he began in these words :—

"There was in the madhouse at Seville, a certain lunatic, whom his relations had sent thither on account of the defect in his judgment. He had taken his degrees in the canon law, at Ossuna; and many were of opinion,

that if he had acquired them at Salamanca, he would not have been a bit the wiser: this graduate, having been confined some years, took it in his head that he was quite well, and restored to his right wits; and in this imagination wrote to the archbishop, earnestly entreat ing him, with many sensible arguments, to give order that he should be extricated from the misery in which he lived; since, through the mercy of God, he had recovered his lost judgment, though his relations kept him still in confine ment, that they might enjoy his estate, and, in despite of truth, were resolved that he should be mad to the day of his death. The archbi shop, persuaded by the many sensible and pathetic letters he received, ordered one of the chaplains to go to the rector of the madhouse, and inquire into the truth of what the licentiate alleged, and even to talk with himself, that, if he should find him quite recovered, he might bring him away and set him at liberty. The chaplain obeyed the command of his grace, and the rector assured him that the man was still mad; for although he would very often talk like a person of excellent understanding, at the long-run he commonly broke out into folly and nonsense, as absurd as the first part of his discourse was rational and discreet: however, he himself might make the experiment, by conversing with the licentiate. The chaplain accordingly went to his apartment, and talked with him a whole hour and more, during which time the lunatic did not utter one vague or incoherent sentence; but, on the contrary, spoke so judiciously, that the chaplain could not help believing him quite sound of intellect; among other things, he told him the rector was his enemy, and pronounced him still distracted, though with lucid intervals, that he might not lose the presents which he received from his relations: so that the greatest cause of his misfortune was no other than his own affluent estate, which to enjoy, his adversaries craftily pretended to doubt of the mercy which the Lord had vouchsafed him, in re-converting him from a beast into a man: in short, he talked so effectually as to render the rector suspected, to prove his relations covetous and unnatural, and himself so discreet, that the chaplain determined to carry him forthwith to the archbishop, that his grace might be personally satisfied of the truth. With this laudable intention, he desired the rector to order the licentiate to be dressed with the clothes in which he entered the house: the rector again advised him to consider what he was about; for the licentiate was, without all question, still distracted. But these cautions and counsels had no effect in dissuading the chaplain from carrying him off, and the rector seeing the archbishop's order, was obliged

to obey; so that the licentiate received his own clothes, which were decent and new. Seeing himself thus divested of the badge of his disorder, and habited like a person of sound intellects, he besought the chaplain, that he would be so charitable as to allow him to go and take leave of his companions in affliction: the other granted his request, and said he would accompany him in order to see the patients; upon which they went up stairs, followed by several persons who chanced to be then present. The licentiate going to the gate of a cell, in which there was a furious madman, though at that time he was calm and quiet, said to him, " Brother, have you any commands for me? I am going to my own house; for God of his infinite goodness and mercy, without any desert of mine, hath been pleased to restore unto me the use of my reason, and I am now perfectly recovered; so that there is nothing impossible to the power of the Almighty: put therefore your hope and trust in him, who, as he hath restored me to my former state, will grant the same indulgence to you, if you confide in his protection. I will take care to send you some cordial food, and be sure, at all events, to eat it; for, you must know, I conclude from experience, that all our disorder proceeds from an empty stomach, and the brains being filled with wind. Take heart, brother, take heart; for despondence under misfor◄ tune consumes the constitution, and hastens the stroke of death." This discourse being overheard by another lunatic, who was confined in a cell opposite to that of the furious patient, he started up stark naked from an old mat on which he lay, and roared aloud, "Who is that going away so sober and so sound?" The licentiate replied, ""Tis I, brother, who am going home, being under no necessity of tarrying longer in this place: thanks be to Heaven for the signal favour I have received!" "Take care what you say, Mr Licentiate, and let not the devil deceive you (answered the madman): halt a little, stay where you are, and spare yourself the trouble of being brought back."" I know that I am perfectly recovered (said the licentiate), and shall have no farther occasion to visit the Stations."*" You recovered! (cried the other), good! we shall see adieu-but I swear by Jupiter, whose majesty I represent on earth, that, for the transgression this day committed in Seville, by discharging you from the house, as a person of sound judgment, I will take such vengeance as shall be a monument of wrath for ever and ever, amen. Dost thou not know, pitiful licentiate, that all this is in my power, being, as I have already observed, Jove the thunderer, who wield the flaming bolts, with which I use to threaten, and can destroy the universe? But with one devil only will I chastise